Peace on Earth...

Just to say...

I will be back in a few days - after the madness has subsided... I would like to thank all those people who read and responded to my blog over the last few months... I have been touched by many of the comments which you have left... I am looking forward to continuing in 2006...

May you all have a very Merry Christmas and a safe and prosperous New Year!!!!

Am I this?

You are the Justice card. Justice preserves the
harmony of the world. Working with opposite
forces, Justice does not seek to criticize or
condemn but rather to accept. The idea behind
the card justice is that opposite forces are
complementary; you could not have good without
evil or light without darkness. Justice's
position is to make sure that if a thing is out
of balance, the weight of its energy is
realigned with its opposite force. This card is
also a card of humour, for it is in pointing
out contrary positions that humour is often
found. The attitude that is found in the
humourous person, being able to shift
perspective and flow with an instinct, is
important in the maintenance of good balance.
Image from The Blue Moon Tarot Deck.
http://www.themysticeye.com/pics/bluemoon.htm

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by

A week to the day...

The Almond crescents are made - so too is the Florentine slice... I was a little disappointed with the almond crescents they were hard to work with because of their large butter content - but they taste pretty good even if they don't look great - but under all that icing sugar who would know what they looked like... I might have a go at making another batch if I have time through the week. Only the mince pies to make now and they are pretty simply just the 'good' pastry which I make and some of the health food shop's pretty damn good fruit mince... Whack them together and they are done... Such finesse!!!!! Jamie Oliver I am not - well you know what I mean!!!!!

This time next week we should be just about up to the pudding and presents stage of the day... Me - I would like to treat myself to something small for Christmas - but I am not sure what...

LOL - I don't think there is going to be enough hours in the day this week... I don't think there will be any blogging time either :((

More fish...

Another little bit. I am teasing you now...

2006 Challenge...

What is this? My challenge for 2006 - in more ways than one... Stay tuned for future developments...

Calidore - I am blaming you...

LOL - not really!!!! I have been reading Calidore's blog for quite a while now. Every so often she shares a recipe that she is currently baking... Well to cut a long story short I am hooked... Hooked on what you may ask - well, baking... I am not a baker - I don't mind doing it occassionally but I am not into biscuit and cake making - I used to when my girls were little and for a while there, even made my own bread the old fashioned way... Those days are long gone - come here and you get a packet biscuit with your cuppa... But Calidore, since I have been reading your blog especially in this sprint up to Christmas I am hooked... Yesterday I rediscoverd my cake and biscuit cook books and I have gone through them remembering what I used to create... So I have decided to make a couple of things for Christmas... And I came back to your rum ball recipe as that is the one I remember my Mum using - I can taste them already... So Calidore think yourself proud - there aren't too many people out there that have influenced me the way you have... And my family will bless you as they stuff their faces with goodies on Christmas Day...

My list :

Almond Crescents

Mince Pies - I make my own 'good' pastry and buy the fruit mince from the health food shop.

Florentine Slice - Woman's Weekly 'Beautiful Biscuits' series

Rum Balls - courtesy of Calidore

More William Morris - Mary, Hilda & Peg...

Now this one is DEFINITELY on my stitching list - 'Brer Rabbit'- another one from the William Morris book. I really like the gradual colour change and the design is well balanced. I can see this one hanging on my wall already. Perhaps like a few of the other stitchers whose blogs I browse, I might have to start a stitching rotation.

These designs from this book really appeal to me. They give me a sense of balance and order. They 'speak' to me and touch some inner space that feels replenished when I look at them. Strange reasons I guess...

Interesting enough another of my 'must does' came from an old magazine I found recently in my stash is also a William Morris influence...

This design was stitched by Peg Fraser who recreated it from a screen panel which was stitched by Hilda Leviny whose family owned Buda in Castlemaine.

This is Hilda's version...

Hilda Leviny 's screen - this photo does not do it justice - but does give some indication to the size of the panels. The hours of stitching which must have gone into them 'boggles' my mind.

I was flicking through another unrelated English stitching magazine from my stash which is years old and I happened to see in its table of contents an article about William Morris. And as I seem to be having a 'William Morris moment' I turned to the page and saw this... For a moment I looked at it and for the life of me couldn't think why it seemed so familiar - then it dawned on me. The caption beside the photo read - "Morris's youngest daughter, Mary, worked this Flower Pot Embroidered Cushion Cover design of her father's in silk and gold thread"

Now, here if you like, is evidence how one design has influenced so many people - obviously Hilda Leviny saw the William Morris design and used the basis of it for her screen. And in recent times Peg Fraser saw Hilda's screen and she adapted the design using cross stitch as her medium...

When I first saw Peg Fraser's cross stitch I was into decorative painting and I thought how well it would lend itself to a paint medium... And on it goes...

The Christmas cake...

...has made it to the oven... As I sit and write this I am smug in the knowledge that the cake is a 'happening thing'... Again the house will have that delicious smell wafting through it...

Funnily enough I am not a big eater of Christmas cake but I do enjoy the smells associated with the preparing and cooking of it... Again much the same as the pudding - I look forward to the first piece and then I save a piece for Boxing Day then I am done for another year...

Boxing Day has always been my day... I figure if the hoards can't find their own fodder on that day then they starve... I wake up on Boxing Day - greeting the day with a smile - knowing that it is all over for another year. I then settle down with my new book - a treat for myself- and let the day unwind as it does... A curl up on the bed and little read, perhaps a stroll around the block, a little nibble... Maybe a watch of a movie... Nothing too strenuous mind... Yep, Box Day is ALL mine and I love it!!!!! If people drop in - it is at their own risk and it is a very casual affair...

I have never been one to go to the Boxing Day sales - not the kinda sport I am in to - although my eldest daughter loves them - I do sometimes wonder where she came from... Perhaps genes from my mother - who could see the 'bargain' in anything... Me - if given a choice - I go as far from the maddening crowd as possible...

This year may be a little different though as I am in retail - not sure if I am working or not...

This weekend the Christmas tree will go up and the house will transform... We are late this year as normally P has it all in hand... P loves Christmas - the whole putting the tree up and decorating the house thing... He gets a smile which he can't contain- I only know one other bloke who enjoys Christmas like he does - my friend in Perth... J is like a dog with two tails come the first of Dec. This year will be extra special as there is now the first grand child on the scene... There is lots of love in J & P's house - one feels it as you walk through the front door... What ever they have they share with you - their home is your home for as long as you are there... Every time I have to leave after a visit I cry at the airport - then P (friend) starts as well... We are hopeless...

I have made some decisions regarding my stitching for next year... Two things I have wanted to stitch for ages are in my 'to do' basket... I have also found a band sampler in a magazine which I already had - I would also love to have a go at stitching it...

I thought that I would 'kit them up' so that they will ready to go... Dream on S - dream on!!!! I have already made one New Year resolution - that I will stitch more next year... Unfortunately my reading list is also growing... My two loves...

It is starting to SMELL a lot like Christmas...

Ok- time for me to 'go and grow ' and turn into the Christmas fairy... Have a good day and I hope what ever you are doing or planning to do turns out just as you want it to...Stay safe, well and calm over these next hectic days... And if you plan to have a drink - please don't drive - take a taxi - stay with a friend -but just don't drive!!!!!

Finally...

I have made the Christmas pudding... I have had the fruit since Oct. but I just couldn't motivate myself to 'get it all together'... On Saturday I decided to soak the fruit 'overnight' - well, that lasted until yesterday, when I finally made myself 'get it together'... So all last night while we slept the pudding cooked...

I cook it in my crockpot ( slow cooker) so it is just a matter putting one cup of water in the bottom of the crockpot popping in the covered pudding basin - set and forget... I have cooked it this way for years - it is almost a fool's way as very little can go wrong...

On Christmas day I re-heat using the same method - it is great as most years kitchen space is at a premium so I usually put the crockpot in the laundry on the washing machine - again putting it on about two to four hours (depending on size of pudding) ahead of serving time- and by the time we get to pudding time it is nice and hot...

Yesterday I prepared the fruit for the Christmas cake - another favorite of mine as it is a traditional fruit mix - however it is a boiled fruit cake... It always has a nice texture and is moist... I know I am running behind with these as really they are at their best done at least six weeks ahead - but 'them are the breaks' - so to speak...

I hope to make some almond crescents - these are my all time favorite. My introduction to these was when I was about ten and I went to visit my friend's grandfather, a fine old Austrian gentleman, who lived in Portsea. He had a wood fire stove and made the most delicious things - almond crescents being one of them... They had a taste that I still remember... Mine aren't quite as nice as his - the wood fire stove having something to do with it - but they are still pretty good...

I have just made some cornflake biscuits - we seem to have an over abundance of packets of cornflakes so I thought I would re visit 'an oldie but goodie' recipe... They smell pretty good too...

Time to go and invest energy in some more Christmas type stuff... Now where are all the lights from last year - I am sure that I put them somewhere... *s wanders away musing the possible whereabouts of missing lights...

In the Beginning...

Before Feb of this year I knew very little about blogging. A girl at work had talked about on-line journalling - but because my comp skills were limited to say the least, it was all abit 'IT' for me...

However Fate it seems was to play a hand and in my widening quest looking on the Net for quilting and Crazy quilting sites it led me to sharonb - who of course as we all know has a blog. And like curiosity leading the cat down the well - so did clicking on side bars do for me - which of course led me to other blogs...

Damn this was all TOO interesting... " Look, look, look," I would say pointing to the monitor, "here's another one." I felt like I had found a 'hidden kingdom- my bemused family looked fondly on thinking "here she goes again - another fad"

This blog travelling not only whetted my appetite for crazy quilting, but to learn more about blogging... Up until just before that I had 'shared' comps so I had no real chance to 'play on my own' for any amount of unrestricted time unless I wanted to get up in the twee smalls - which I have been known too!!!!

Now about this time my daughter got a new, faster, all singing, lights, bells and whistles comp and I was bequeathed her old 'T model Ford' - well for me it was heaven and freedom all rolled into one... I could go and turn on the 'beastie' and roam the world visiting all the wonderful sites at will... But I digress - as I am known to do...

I decided to start a blog, 'just to see if I could' mind you - nothing too fancy -just somewhere to record this idea of 'a creative journey'... The Blank Page was born and for a while I was happy - then I saw that others did ' all manner of other things' to their blogs and so, like Oliver, I wanted more... P, my ever suffering mate who had by this time started his own blog began to teach me basic HTML...

LOL and I thought my creative journey was going to be about fabric... I would say to P that such and such a blog had this, that and something else - how could I do that BUT with a difference... P would look then go away and play on his comp then come back again with the answers and guide me through the steps to accomplish it. Some interesting moments were to be had I might add...

I am also a nit picky Virgo with very definite ideas how I want something to look - the banner heading took a lot of P's patience as I kept saying "yes, sort of like that - BUT..." He would just take a deep breath in and go back to the template...

While I still have a basic blog and ironically, it is P who has gone on to greater things, I have learnt heaps. Yesterday was probably my biggest nemesis as I wanted to change the link to the comments - other people had these nifty little sayings and I wanted that too... Well after much fiddling and nearly a major disaster I accomplished it all on my own plus taught myself to post a picture in my profile - not a big deal for those who can do it without as much as a second glance - but for me, an Everest climb... I think it was more the near disaster that taught me the most - normally I would fling my arms up in frustration and mutter deep dark oaths - but yesterday I persisted with patience and perserverence - and deep dark oaths...

It is amazing how one learns so much about themselves in the most lateral ways... At the beginning of the year I knew nothing about blogging or HTML - today not only do I know more - but in way, better than that - I know that I can... "One small step for" - well, you know how the rest goes...

So... look out 2006 - I am ready for you... LOL- sharonb if you get to read this - my hand is up for your classes too!!!!!

Is this who I am...

You reflect the wisdom of the spirit. You shine as
a wise and anicent sage who values intellect
among the most. Your spirit brings guidence to
those around you. You have accomplished your
strength with age and time. Don't let your wise
advice go to waste. Share it with all who are
willing to listen.

Reflections of the Spirit?
brought to you by

William Morris...

Here are two of the samplers which are featured in the book 'The Art of William Morris in Cross Stitch' which I borrowed from the library.

Barbara Hammet has created these samplers based on the work of William Morris. She also gives a little history behind each of the pieces. With each of the works she explains her decisions about the way she has stitched it.

I liked what Barbara wrote in her acknowledgements. She wrote " This book owes its inspiration to the genius of William Morris, to his magical talent as a designer of patterns, and to the example he set - his determination that he could and would achieve whatever goals he set his mind to, and would achieve them excellently well..."
I particularly like the last sentence - isn't that true for all of us. If we are that determined and focus intently to the task at hand we can achieve almost anything...

Here is another one. This one really appeals to me too but whether I will ever stitch it is another matter. Of late I seem to be drawn to the more timeless designs in embroidery and cross stitch...

There seems to be so much I like about this book it may be another I could add to my library...

Choosing my words carefully...

I have not written for quite a few days - I really felt as though I didn't have much of value to say. I think that the reason was that the events around our world weighed heavily. Try as I might to make logic or reason from them I found it hard going and I might add still do...

Perhaps I has some insight into myself this morning when I was talking to P about my utter revulsion of Huntsman spiders - we have had a couple in the house over the last two weeks - I may dislike what they are and even more what they stand for - big, furry, eight legged, fast moving - but I cannot kill them... In fact when others of the family reach for the insect spray and/or a heavy object to splatter them - I defend them working out ways to move them out of the house unharmed. I may not like them and I may be bigger than they are - but that is not a good enough reason for me to destroy them. Yes - I am well aware that real life is more complex than huntsman spiders - but killing one huntsman or maybe even 400 does not solve the problem. Nor does it offer a deterent for next one coming through the window if it is so determined. I will say no more...

On a brighter note I spent Thursday with G and her friend H... We had a morning coffee which stretched into lunch... H and I share similar interests of books, reading and writing. H went home after lunch so G and I settled down to an afternoon of stitching and chat... It was a lovely peaceful few hours... I worked on C's sampler and G worked on a Christmas RR she is currently a part of. C's sampler is coming along nicely and I am enjoying stitching and watching it unfold. There is something about stitching this one that makes me feel peaceful - perhaps it is its theme - Love - or the colourways which are shades of pink - not a colour I work with much - but what ever it is I feel very content when I finally put it down...

I went to the library and of course it was my duty to leave with a armful of books...

* The Art of William Morris in Cross Stitch
* The Sampler Collection (this book was produced by 'Just CrossStitch magazine in 1989 - cannot find links to it)
*Painting with a Needle - learning the art of silk embroidery with YOUNG YANG CHUNG (keep scrolling down for the English translation)
* I Believe This - 100 Eminent Australian's Face Life's Biggest Question
* A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
* Ghostwritten - David Mitchell
* Painted Woman - Sue Woolfe

Some to read and some to simply look at the pictures and dream...

Enough of my ramblings... Enjoy the weekend...

And...

Yesterday was such a good day... Since my last post I have been ill with some dreaded virus type thing... I am not sure whether it was in my system before my cancelled op or not - but it certainly made me feel very low and dis-spirited...

But...

In the midst of it all I had an email from L from Chloe's Place to say that she would be out this way yesterday... I was determined I would be well enough to have her at least visit for a while if nothing else... I contacted G from Patra's Place to see if she wanted to come 'play' too... After re arranging her schedule she came too...

Both of them have given accounts of our escapades on their blogs so I won't repeat them just to say I hate to think what we would be like if we had a couple of whole days with no time restrictions and loaded wallets - nothing would be safe... Thanks girls it was just what I needed... I was tired last night but a 'good' tired...

L arrived about mid morning and she was kind enough to bring some of her CQ with her. Here it was in my lounge room 'in the flesh' so to speak - all that beautiful work I had seen only via the internet was draped over my chairs... Plus slung over L's shoulder was her bags of fun challenge - the bag that started a 'world wide epidemic'...

What more can I say??? That I was in total awe would probably come somewhere close to describing it... I looked and looked and looked some more... L had also bought her new completed, soon to be gone 'All That Jazz' -Katrina Quilt Fundraiser Block... More vibrant colours, more dazzle and wonderful stitching... If I sound like a bit of fan - I am... I don't often have the opportunity to sit and pick someone's brains as I did yesterday... L also was kind enough to share her 'work' journal and with the little time I had to flick through it it offered me some fresh perspectives... LOL with that on its own I could have spent the entire day just reading... L - reading your journal did stimulate some interesting ideas which sort of tie in with something else I started quite awhile ago... G joined us and after a quick re cap we 'hit the road' and went to Mooroolbark...

Mooroolbark has some bitter/sweet memories as I spent 20 years there. When I was there is was just on the threshold of its transformation as it is today... I am not sure what I thought of the 'new Mooroolbark' I glimpsed yesterday... We walked through a small park behind the shops - the rose bushes were out in profusion... I last remember them as tiny and reasonably newly planted as I walked my then small daughter to kinder... Some of the shops after 12 years have remained the same - others of course have changed... I have got a feeling that the quilt shop we visited was once the video shop... I would like to go back and spend some more time browsing - espescially at the quilt shop!!!!!

Enough from me... Enjoy your day everyone - hopefully enjoying what you do best...

Today...

I feel loads better... The body aches are nearly gone just a few lingering niggles around the shoulders and I have lost that 'foggy' feeling... LOL and I felt like that with no procedure - I can't imagine how I would feel having had one...

I am not sure what the next step is other than to wait for the 'next time round'. I keep getting the feeling that I am 'missing something' with this nasal condition. The best way I can describe it is like when you are trying to think of a word and it eludes you - I just can't seem to 'catch it' if that makes any sense. A friend once said to me when I had a similar problem - "Don't chase it - sit very still in silence and allow it to come to you" And to his credit I have found it works in most cases. Perhaps if I sat still long enough this might work!!!!

I feel restless and I am wanting to do something but not sure what...

Now my comp is playing up... So once again I am on E's - her monitor was returned a week ago so everyone has their original bits - I think my comp is just so old it simply has given up the ghost... It is ok with little things but give it something too large and it just refuses... Even posting photos it carries on lately... E is going to teach me how to use her scanner so I can post from her comp...

Yesterday was not entirely lost as I finished another book... A few weeks ago this woman and her grand daughters came into the store enquiring after an author Robert Corbet - she told me that he was her son and the girls with her were his daughters... Unfortunately we had none of his work on the shelves - but it sparked my interest to borrow two of his books from the library 'The Passenger Seat' and 'Fifteen Love'. Robert writes for young adults (14- 19 age group approx.) I quite enjoyed both of the titles but I would think that the first 'The Passenger Seat' was directed at the older end of the market. This one particularly got me in as it was set in Melbourne. I am now after his third book called 'Shelf Life'... I enjoy children's' literature - I think it is in some cases better than adults - although in saying that it can't really be compared. I think writing for children is a very exacting process - not as some people tend to think - that it is a way of 'practicing' until you write an adult novel. One of the hardest to write are children's picture books - to write a balance of words which then allows an illustrator to complete with pictures - is an art form which very few writers find hard to achieve...

From what I have seen in my short time as a book seller kids are very 'aware' consumers and know with certainty what they like and dislike... These days when parents bring their children in to buy a book I speak directly to the child not to the parent who is telling me what he/she likes while the child vigorously shakes their head... Yes of course one has to be mindful of what their child reads or watches and I agree that sometimes the content can be sensitive... However these kids are living life, going to school, listening/watching the media, accessing the internet, interacting with their mates and so much of what they want to read is not going to shock them. In most cases the book in question has already been discussed in every detail beforehand... I think it can be an injustice to disregard a children's book simply because you, the adult, doesn't like the look of it... We in Australia have very strict guidelines when writing for children which have to be followed to the letter if one hopes to get their manuscript within even a bull's roar of the 'reading pile' at the publishers...

Angus & Robertson have recently introduced a series of recommend reading age pamphlets which can help when choosing a book for a child - while these suggestions aren't 'set in stone' they can certainly be a starting off point for discussion or browsing... Just ask at the counter if they aren't displayed in the children's section... Lol - I sound like an ad... Nah!!!! - I don't like reading or bookshops... Could I be fibbing?????

Well, enough of my ramblings... Take care all and have a great weekend... :-))

The day after...

This morning I am feeling a little sorry for myself... I know it is the 'come down' after yesterday's fiasco... It was unfortunate but I guess everything happens for a reason...

What happened??? The long and short of it without boring everyone silly is that they couldn't get the intubation(breathing) tube down my throat into my lungs... So obviously without that happening - nothing else could...

Apparently they tried three times but then decided that because - 1. My condition was not life threatening and 2. To proceed would have been unwise without specialized equipment and it would be better to reschedule for a later date. As I 'came round' from the the pre-op anesthetic I was told that the procedure had been cancelled... Everyone who was involved came to speak to me and reassure me that this decision had been the 'right call' under the circumstances...

To be told that it happens about once in every 10,000 didn't make me feel any better. So here am just about back to square one... I have felt these last few months 'that I am up against it' - no matter what I attempt - things just seem to go 'pear shaped'. Hmmm... I feel at times I am missing some 'vital clue' regarding my life, but for the love of me I can't figure it out...

Enough of my woes - it is promising to be a lovely day here in Melbourne so I shall make the most of it... P has excelled himself with our little garden bed and it is looking lovely... He has also mulched it and put in a manual watering system. It is nice to see the bees enjoying our flower patch... Considering it had been a weedy, dry piece of dirt it has come a long way... The promise of things to come... There is a lot more to be done but this piece of garden gives me such joy and peace...

Because I thought I was going to be fairly housebound for a few days I added another three books to my stash (any excuse, you say) - LOL you are probably right there...

Eragon by Christpher Paolini

I fell in love with this book on first sight. it... I have had it on my 'to read' list for ages - but I have never got around to reading it - sort of wanting to 'keep it for best'. My op was going to be a good chance to 'indulge'... Now that I have Eragon - Eldest - the sequel - is on my Christmas wish list.

The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

Another title that took my fancy but again like Eragon haven't got around to reading it... E and I went to our favorite second hand bookshop and there it was - much cheaper than even I could get it with my staff discount... And because it was in brand new condition I snapped it up... Well, actually E snapped it up for me as my 'going to hospital present'...

The Ultimate Weight Solution by Dr Phil McGraw

I have a love/hate relationship with this guy... Rarely watch him on the telly but I have heard some good things about this book... I thought it was worth a look - I am usually not a follower of diet 'how to do it' books but on just the initial browse at it sparked my interest... We will see...

Well, that is about all - I am still feeling a little tender after yesterday as I think they must have rolled me around trying to get the tube positioned... I am aching all over so perhaps a bath may be in order... Steep my body in it for a while and lets the aches and worries float away...

Cheers all and thank you to those who left me messages they were much appreciated... And annes your phone call was 'just what the dr ordered' - it cheered me up no end...

Anti-climax...

Unfortunately due to a 'slight' hitch my op did not go ahead... It is now rescheduled for Jan 2006... I am disappointed - but it was better to be safe than sorry...

The nose knows...

Well, the day has arrived... In less than a couple of hours I am off to the hospital for my op... I have my book and my needlework 'at the ready' - so, I am an optimist... Take care all - and I will 'see' you in a couple of days... Here I go - wish me luck... :-))

And another one...

You are an Iris:

You are logical, analytical, dignified, and wise.
You are studious by nature and may prefer books
to people. You tend to be a serious person but
are capable of making others laugh with your
dry sense of humor. Friends always benefit from
your advice.

Symbolism: Over the centuries the iris has come to
symbolize faith, wisdom, hope, and promise in
love.


Which Flower are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I couldn't resist another one... LOL - I do seem to have a thing about running around in 'next to nothing'...

A little bit of fun & magic...

The Fairy Princess

You are youthful, cheery, and exuberant with a
sunny disposition and a mischievous sense of
humor. You are very lively and are always up
for a good bit of fun. You have a deep love of
nature and animals.

Role Model: Titania

You are most likely to: Convert a pumpkin into a
useful mode of transportation.


What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

A day at the Zoo...

Yesterday we went to the Melbourne Zoo... M had wanted to do this in lieu of her birthday which was last weekend. She and D both had exams last week and were both madly studying so they didn't really have a lot of time for celebrating... We had a 'quick' family dinner on Monday night as that was her actual birthday - so we did the cake and pressies thing then...

Yesterday was just lovely - we all went - E - my youngest daughter, K - my ex-husband, P and I and of course M and D. We spent the first couple of hours cruising the animals - watching the lions been fed, searching for the tiger which was sitting up near the bamboo looking very bored at the passing parade, marvelled at the platypus in its twilight world, laughed at the meerkats as they lolled about on each other in the sun. K, P and I had an experience with one of the gibbon monkeys - their enclosure is on a elevated board walk and the 'human animals' can view the gibbons antics through a glass window... One of the gibbons swung up to the glass where we were standing and for some minutes eyed us off with intent - I wondered what was going through that little brain of hers... Those beautiful brown eyes seem to have an inner wisdom in them as they searched our faces - just for a moment I felt this connection with this little creature - a fragility, a tenderness and definitely a sense of oneness... I was almost inclined to put my hand to the glass to see if she would put hers up too - only I was afraid that the movement might frighten her... Other people who were watching also noticed this little interaction we were having with her... She was interrupted on her side when one of the other gibbons joined her - the spell was broken and she swung off... Its moments like that which are a gift and make life special... I believe we sadly underestimate these 'wild' creatures and by doing so miss out on a lot... Prior to this we had stood watching a large male gorilla who (and I am using 'who' deliberately here!!) had the most p***ed expression on his face - like "I am having a very, very bad day - and no, I don't want to talk to ANYONE!!!!" - we all did laugh... If we were to know - these primates must get weary of the 'paying public' - like "Do I have to do it ALL again today"... I wonder if they all sigh with relief when the gate swing close for the night... After lunch on the lawn we resumed the 'amble' and visited the elephant walk, the butterfly house, pymgy hippo and giraffes... By then we were weary and 'all zooed out'...

It was a lovely family day and one we must do again in some form... I am very fortunate in as much as P, my partner and K - my ex husband get on extremely well - it makes family do's so much easier and tension free... It is a credit to both of them and I appreciate both of them for the 'hurdles' it took to accomplish this relationship... I count my blessings that I have a good friend in my ex husband and a loving and caring man who is my partner... Thank you to you both - you make my life special...

Lots of photos were taken and if there are some reasonable ones I will post here... We have an 'old fashioned' camera so will have to wait until the film is finished...

I have tried to catch up with the comments which you have left over the last couple of days... I hope I haven't missed anyone out - it was not intentional if I have... I would like you to know how much I appreciate the comments which you take the time to leave... So to all of you - thank you...

Possible Assisi work...

I am full of inspiration today - or is it just nerves about next week... But whatever it is I am firing on all jets!!!! I was sent this image and I thought that it would be a great model for Assisi work. He would make a great 'companion' to my Indian silhouette (see Indian - Completed Works sidebar). I could use the same colour thread which I stitched my Indian to stitch this image but in reverse.

C's sampler...

Here is the picture that I promised you. This is the design which I am stitching for my friend C. Remember I said that I had decided to stitch it on 18 ct pale pink aida instead of the 22 ct black linen which the model is stitched on. The photo doesn't really do the design justice as there is some wonderful curly backstitching at the bottom and again at the top where there looks to be empty spaces...

This is what I have stitched so far. Compare it to the top photo and you will see what I have done. Again, that pink blob in the middle is the vertical stroke of the 'L'. So far it has been an easy and enjoyable stitch and very much a 'palette cleanser' while I have been battling with M's mermaid. Hopefully I will get some more done when I am at home after my little hospital bout next week. I was concerned that some of the stitching would 'fade' into the pale pink aida but after seeing the photo model and comparing it to the actual pattern I think that the 'fade' ratio will be much the same. I had wanted a softer look for the design and I think the colour change will offer that - it has been interesting to 'stitch blind' so to speak as when I started I didn't have the colour photo as a comparison so I just had to go with the black and white chart which I had had for some time. I was glad to find the book again at the library and now I have some idea where I am going with it. LOL - I wasn't even sure what the book looked like so I was pleased to find it on the shelf.

The design comes from 'A to Z' cross-stitch SAMPLERS - The Vanessa-Ann Collection... The book was published in 1989 and is American. It has some good designs obviously alphabet inspired. Another book I am trying to track down to add to my collection...

The list maker...

I am reading with interest those of you who are thinking of making a 2006 list re: stitching... Do you think that making a list helps? For me I am not sure that it would... I tend to get a little obsessive with those sorts of things and I end up getting nothing achieved as the deadline draws nearer... Sure I can make a list - but whether I would actually stay with it is quite another thing... Yes - I know that I have said that I am making a list of books that I want to read but that is different in as much that it is sort of a 'reminder' list rather than a 'must complete' list... Perhaps I would rather use a list as what I would LIKE to achieve - rather than what I HAVE to achieve... A subtle difference there...

I think that is why I was/am not very good at diary writing... I immediately feel guilty if I don't fill in all the pages... I am far better off using a blank page and calling it journaling(or blogging) rather than have a state of the art lined and dated diary.... Although in saying that I have promised myself a moleskin journal when I become a little more financial... Whether I would ever actually do anything in it would be another thing - however my heart desires one of these beautifully bound journals... Just having one of these would fill me full of inspiration - I jest!!!!!

Well... you may ask. What are your stitching goals for next year? I am not sure... I would like to stitch 'Blueberry Homecoming' at some stage. I saw this stitched some years ago and it was also my introduction into e-bay... LOL - many, many 'wins' later... But getting back to topic - it would be 'up there' as one of the ones I would like to accomplish... I am reluctantly coming to terms with the fact that I won't stitch all that I have bought - which by some standards - compared to some stashes - very meager indeed... But it seems the ones that I truly want to stitch are some which I original purchased very early on... I think also one's taste changes and I find that some of the things I had 'earmarked' now have me wondering why... Now while this last sentence contradicts the bit before it I know what I mean... Some of the things were 'I would like to stitch you - one day', while the things I want to stitch 'speak' to me and I still have the same responses to them I had all those years ago when I first saw them... Does that make it any clearer? Probably not... For instance I cannot see myself ever stitching 'Portrait of Wisdom' - but I possibly will never part with him as he represented a part of my life - he is like a 'snapshot' of that time... While this peacock design has been a favorite of mine for years and I have had it 'stashed away' ready for me to start...

Why do I like it? I think it is to do with the 'mirror image' and the colours - and of course, it 'spoke' to me... I can see this design would 'lend' itself in other applications of stitching as well... While trying to find this to show you I found another box of stitching magazines -'must keeps' in the wardrobe... I am hopeless!!!!

I also have bought two new books - A&R had their travelling sale tables... I spied with my little eye - 2001+ cross stitch designs - the essential reference book and Cross Stitch Silhouettes.

The first book I have been after for ages... And the second book, well, it just took my fancy... With my staff discount I managed to purchased them both for $13.00... A bargain I believe... Even if it wasn't - another two great books for the collection...

I keep saying "and this will be my last needlework book..." Why doesn't anyone believe me???? P, you believe me don't you????? I can see you smiling!!!!! No, it's out and out belly laughter!!!!!!!! Well, you could at least pretend to believe me...

And of course this thread really told you about my 2006 list making... Now that I have found another box it has just added another few...

Ok all I am off for my pre admission appointment... Catch you later...

M's birthday...

I am still here - 'lurking and watching'... Life as always, is running like the wind - sometimes I feel like I am chasing it - most of the time I feel like I am being pushed by it...

P and I went to G and K's for tea on Saturday night - we had a delightful time eating and chatting and eating and drinking and eating - well, you get the general drift... We met another couple and they seemed very nice... It was just one of those evenings when everybody 'clicked'...

Today is my M's birthday - no, her mermaid isn't finished, but not too far away... I ran into some problems with the lettering - my own fault - after spending sometime trying to figure out how to fix it - it was easier just unpick and redo... I have a small present for her but I have said that her other present is still 'coming'... I might even put it away until after my op as I am getting quite nervous and not concertrating at all well...

That is about it... Enjoy the day all...

Shadows from the past...

Your Element is Water

Your power colors: blue and aqua Your energy: deep Your season: winter Like the ocean, you evoke deep feelings and passion.You have an emotional, sensitive, and spiritual soul.A bit mysterious, you tend to be quiet when you are working out a problem.You need your alone time, so that you can think and dream.

What Element Are You?

Perhaps this is how I am feeling today... I can't really motivate myself into doing anything productive...

Perhaps partly it is to do with a conversation I had with a long time friend last night - I won't repeat it - however, once again it has illustrated to me how fragile we all are. I don't see this friend often as she comes from 'my past life in this lifetime'. She and I were a part of a group of women who all lived reasonably close to each other and had kids of the same age. We spent quite a bit of time together as we shared school lunch duties, mothers clubs, school council, fete committees, etc. It was in the days of largely 'stay at home mums' who participated in all these type of school activities. We have shared the 'ups and downs' of life - especially as our kids got older.

My involvement became less when I moved away - but still I have kept in contact with this one person who 'catches' me up on all the 'doings'. Our children are now mostly in their late twenties and early thirties so we have now evolved into the grandparent stage... Because she still lives in the same community she frequently runs into people from our vintage - last night she had a couple of stories about people we knew... I know for everything there is a season - but it makes me sad and if I am truthful - makes me think of my own mortality - when I hear some of these people have died or their children have struck major problems. I also heard that a couple of people who my youngest daughter went to school with have died tragically. It is when I hear about these stories I want to 'wave a magic wand and make it all better'... Especially for the kids - I think back to when they were running around the school yard with only a thought of who their best friend was for the day or the latest 'latest' thing...

As I have got older and looked back 'down the winding road' - some of the familiar faces have 'disappeared' - I know it is the way of life - not all are fortunate to stay for the 'long haul'... I can't help but wonder however, what the rest of 'the journey' holds...

As I write this and think back it is hard to believe the amount of time which has elasped. It seems such a very short time since those 'sunlit' days - but the 'shadows' that they cast are full of potent memories...

A late addition...

My op date has been set 16th Nov. (a fortnight today)!!! Now I am feeling very nervous... I know it isn't heart surgery - and I will be ok... But...

Horses, books and no stitching...

Well, all the speculation about all things important - horses, jockeys, racing, fashions, and the weather are now just on a day behind us... Yes, as a nation we all did stop for that important race and this year we saw history in the making... Please don't get me wrong - one, I am not a racing fan - I think it is to do with my fear of horses. And two, I really don't care about all the above mentioned... But yesterday is was difficult to ignore all the excitement about 'that horse'... We watched the race on the telly so I can't begin to even imagine what it would have been like track side - but it looked like a monumental event... I am glad to hear though she is 'being retired' - a well deserved rest for a beautiful lady - 'Makybe Diva'

Now to the really important stuff... My stitching came to a halt with the heat yesterday... A very, very hot day here in Melbourne - but I did get to read more of my book which I have slowly been making progress with... 'Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell' by Susanna Clarke is quite a different book - but one that once I got into I couldn't not finish... There is something that has drawn me into the plot and I perhaps could suggest it has the makings for one of those obscure novels that has a following in its own right... Its pages tally at nearly 800 so apart from its sheer size both literally and laterally it is a big book. Its plot and cast of characters are also huge. The writing style is at times difficult going - I am not sure whether it is the precision or the slow ambling pace it takes... But what ever it is I feel like I have had some magic cast over me and I won't be done with it until I have turned the last page.What is it about? It is a book about magic - but definitely not Harry Potter style... Rather about the re-introduction of 'respectable' magic into Britain in the nineteeth century... It has been described as 'compelling' and I would agree with that. It was also suggested that there isn't anything else like that and I would (even with my limited reading) agree with that as well... What made me read it? There was just something about it that intrigued me from the moment I heard about it... Would I buy it? Probably, this is one of those books I would like to have on my shelf - but the hardcover version - not the soft cover... It would be something I would put on my re read list - only because like a 'huge' movie I am sure that on the 're-run' it would yield more which I may have missed from its first reading... It was also a nominee for the Booker Prize this year... I am starting to compile a list of books I want to read - a bit like my stitching I will have to live a thousand life times to get it all read- because of course I am always adding to it :-)).

Another book which has 'tweaked' my interest again and is on the 're read soon' list is 'The Artist's Way' - Julia Cameron... An oldie but a goodie... I remember when I first read it some years ago how much it excited me. Interestingly enough I 'stumbled' over a group of quilters who are reading it... Hmmm... A 'when the student is ready the teacher appears' moment me thinks...

Ok, enough of my ramblings for today... Enjoy All...

Heavenly Grace...

Thanks everyone for your comments re my last message - they were much appreciated. I am aware that compared to others I haven't got a lot to complain about. This year has been a continual 'shifting the weight from one foot to the other' process... I am not particularly unhappy - just frustrated about the circumstances which I find myself in... I have felt a little isolated of late and that has played heavily on me... But enough angst!!!!

Today I really 'slothed out' and watched 'The Book Group' a TV series which I borrowed from the local library... It is a bit of a 'black' comedy... But it appealed to my sense of humor. The series deals with an American girl newly arrived in Scotland who forms a book group as an attempt to meet and make new friends... Of course nothing goes to plan and quite often the books are the last things to be discussed... The human relationships are quite well played out... It has been on the ABC and I missed it so I was happy when I saw it in the library... E says that it had a couple of series...

I am really getting close to finishing the stitching on M's and I have decided to start something else - this one I have had for quite a few years... The project is at the top of the page - it is called 'Heavenly Grace' and is part of the 'Gold Collection' by Dimension. It is stitched on 18 ct ivory aida - and is quite small. So as soon as M's is completed 'Heavenly Grace' is going to be added to the fray... Something has made me decide to get on with some of these things I have and give them 'life'... :-)) I am just about all mermaid(ed) out and I will look forward to feeling the caress of angel wings...

And so, with the threading of a needle I will be travelling from the depths of the ocean kingdom to the heavenly realms... Now who says Life is boring...

Ok - I am off to do some more...

Update...

We are still without E's monitor and we are still sharing mine... But all is not lost... The most surprising thing is that I am on the homeward stretch of M's mermaid... G - I am up to the lettering!!!!! I think with having only limited time on the comp I am now turning my attention to other things - or is it perhaps because M's birthday is only a little over a week away that I want to finish it... Whatever the reason I seem to be achieving more this side of the screen since we have been short a screen - if that makes sense... This afternoon for instance I took my cuppa and my book and sat outside on the backstep and enjoyed an hour's reading time in the fresh air - bliss... I have come to realise how much time I spend on the comp when I could be doing other things... I think like us all I only intend to be on the comp for a short time but unfortunately the minutes soon turn into an hour or so and then the morning, afternoon or whatever has gone... And for some reason I seem to be more relaxed - well, as relaxed as one person can be seven weeks before Christmas, an impending operation and the liklihood of little or no hours at what is meant to be my dream job... However we plod undaunted upwards towards the Summit...

My thoughts have turned to what I would like to achieve next year... This year I have struggled to even get to where I have now... So I am considering what I would like to see myself having accomplished by this time next year and I am considering making a list of goals - perhaps then I shall see some inroads with my UFO's and my reading...

My intention in setting up this blog was to partly get involved with writing again and whilst I have to some degree written it is not quite what I thought I would write... I think that I have become bogged down in what I thought I should be writing - not writing what I wanted to write... I even started the other blog but lost interest very quickly in it... Then a few days ago I had this bizarre thought - what if I kept a journal type thing - well not a journal as such - more just a place where I could continually write - perhaps a visual diary of sorts... And what if it wasn't here - but in a real book with real paper and a real pen - now that is a lateral thought... See what a few days away from a comp will do...

Hopefully when all systems are up and running I can show your some progress on both M's mermaid and the other sampler which I had just started - I now have a photo of what the finished piece should look like given that I have changed the colour and type of cloth... Until then...

Computer blues...

As much as I enjoy my computer I loathe the difficulties/frustrations they cause... For the last three weeks we have had a continual 'time of it' with my daughter E's comp. It was bought new not quite 12 months ago and has had three trips back to the shop... Then last week the monitor gave up the ghost and it too has gone back... But inbetween all these comings and goings the cable/broadband started to play up as well dropping out for hours at a time... Grrrrrr.... Yesterday that was attended to by a lovely guy who patiently explained the problem to us... I nodded sagely - it looked like I understood what he was saying.... But after inspecting the source from outside the house the problem was solved... Now we wait on the moniter's arrival... Meanwhile we have my moniter on E's comp - and I have access to her broadband... I have never read so many blogs in such a short time... I feel like I am behind the wheel of a natty little sportscar zipping along the information highway... But I do love my old comp - it may chug along and hiccup occassionally but it just keeps going... Hopefully next week I shall be back on board in my room on my comp...

Yesterday I had a visit from G of Patra's Place... We spent an enjoyable time of it stitching and chatting and eating... P enjoyed the brownies G!!!! G perhaps next year you and I might take a stitching week-end away... Let's start planning it now...

I am struggling to finish M's mermaid... Her birthday is in a couple of weeks and I still have a good day's work on it... I think because it has been around for the best part of a year that I am sick of it but I can see the sense in finishing it and getting it out of the way... I really loved it when I first started it but have really lost interest in it...Hmmm...

Well I am writing this before I go off to work so I had better get a wriggle on and get into work mode... For those of you who read this I hope your day/night is an enjoyable one...

The first few stitches...

I have made a start on C's cross stitch. I have decided to keep some sort of log as I go on this one. In my mind I think that there is less of a chance it been put away and also I am curious to see how many hours it will take to complete. You wouldn't think however, to look at it, that this it is the best part of three and a half hours work. The section I am working on has been nearly all pink of one shade or another - I am looking forward to introducing more colours in the section which has the 'turned corner' - the pink 'blob' in the centre is part of the vertical stroke of the letter 'L' which is a capital. I will perhaps have to change the shade of pink at its top section as it is nearly the same shade as the aida - but I will make that decision further along. So far I have enjoyed the stitching and have developed a slow, but steady rhythm - almost to a meditative state. I have been stitching after P goes to work and the house is quiet - the birds in the park across the road add just the right accompainment to this hour or so of 'me time'. Morning it seems, is when I stitch best - my head is clear and I feel peaceful. A nice way to begin the day. I can 'see' one or two little gold butterflies 'fluttering' somewhere across this piece - they are not included on the original pattern - but it just feels right to include them. I am looking forward to seeing this piece develop...

Interesting enough C rang on Sunday night - after not hearing from her in a little while. We have been invited to she and R's house warming next weekend. Although I shouldn't be surprised at her phone call - she had been on my mind for days. We are like that - she and I...

Work's had developments - there will be a staff meeting next Monday night when all will be revealed. Hmmm - of late I am thinking more and more that life in the city is evolving more and more into a faster and more complex rat race. Perhaps I am kidding myself that life further out of Melbourne would be different - I would still have to work - that is a given - but surely it wouldn't be this continual grind - of feeling like I am going 'no where fast'. I want more quality time in my life - time to do more of what I want to do and less of what I have to do. Or is it that I am simply getting older and the things which seemed important are less so. Time for a seachange?

While I enjoy the job I have now I am less impressed with the intensifying retail 'got to get the consumer dollar at all costs' mentality. It seems as though the 'hierarchy' don't mind staff cutting as long as the (increasing) work load is met - this interesting turn of events has happened leading to the busiest time of the year and the introduction of a customer loyalty program. Somehow I think the customers would appreciate better customer service rather than a 'free' book which they pay for in other ways. Am I jaded? Perhaps - but on a larger scale - more disappointed in the way the world is turning. We are for the largest part being hoodwinked - and we just won't see it. Descending from my soap box now :-) ...

I may be off line for a few days - E's comp has taken another dive - so she and I will be 'sharing' until hers goes and returns from 'hospital'...

The next stitch...

This is my next cross stitch project... It has been tucked away for the best part of three years. I saw the design in a library book and thought how nice it was. The original design was stitched on black linen. I knew my eyesight would not withstand black - let alone linen so I opted for the palest of pink 18ct aida. I may have to play around with some of the threads as I can see already that one of the pinks fades into the background - although I do like that idea of it been 'barely there'. A 'surprise' for the eye to discover

I photocopied the chart but not the photo of the design. It is the word 'Love' surrounded by scrolling backstitch and xstitch flowers. The 'L' is large with the 'ove' smaller - the overall effect like an illuminated lettering style.

I originally chose this for my friend C's 'BIG 0' birthday - but that has come and gone. In a way I am glad that it wasn't done for her as sadly it was not a happy time with the death of a family member. At least now when C receives this it won't have all those associated memories attached. The design is small so hopefully it won't take very long to do. Although I remember saying that about a mermaid - which has taken me over a year.

Why am I stitching it now? Strange really... I have been on the lookout to stitch something new and perhaps a little different - not only to what I have been stitching - but also to what I usual choose to stitch. C came to mind and it had me thinking about our friendship when both of our lives were going through an ' interesting and challenging' phase. We valued our friendship - for support and nothing was ever 'too big' or 'too small' or 'too late' or 'too early'. We were unconditional, non judgemental and while we may not have always agreed on a lot of things we each respected t it was the right of each of us to express our opinions differently. Due to the 'different paths' of our lives over the last couple of years we don't get to see as much of each other...

When I first saw this cross stitch design those few years ago it 'spoke' to me - I knew instantly it was for C. I wanted it to be a testament to our friendship both past and present. Yesterday I went deep into 'my archives' and found it - I am looking forward to stitching it perhaps making more memories as I go...

So as you see this is the first bit - 'all parts making the whole'. I will 'blog' my progress and its growth...

I would also like to thank P for making my blog title a reality from the idea I had some months ago...

Sunflower FQ...

This is the FQ my swap partner sent to me from over in a craft forum. Each month we have the opportunity to do a themed swap. For the month of October it was the first inital of either our real or on-line name. Mine of course is 'S'. We then had to suggest what that inital stood for. I thought of surprise, snow and sunflowers. My swap partner then had the task of finding a FQ to do with any of those... I was happy with a surprise and L my swap partner came up with this lovely fabric which is a welcome addition to my stash. These swaps are no pressure 'feel -good' type of activities - and for the moment this is how invloved I want to be. It is a nice way of increasing your stash - perhaps receiving fabric you wouldn't pick yourself and receiving something nice in the post...

Op-shop treasures...

Well, what a day... My eldest daughter rang to tell me that the company she works for has been 'taken over'... She now has an indefinite future. I meanwhile, have been told that the company I work for is cutting back hours across the board. I work casual hours which have all but dwindled away. This whole year has been so uncertain and now these latest developments just top it off. I feel like I am caught between a rock and a hard place...

But on a happier note we went up the street which nearly always results in a trip to the op-shop. Someone had cleaned out their cross stitch collection and there were some very nice patterns - mostly of flowers or birds. I looked at them carefully and although they were only a couple of dollars each I resisted. There was a complete kit of flamingo birds which had the original price of $89.90 on it - the op shop was selling it for $25.00 not a bad price It was to be stitched on very fine linen and all its threads were pre-sorted onto a card. It looks like one of those kits one falls in love with takes it home and lovingly puts it with the rest on the hoard. After contemplating it for a moment I knew that there would be someone who would provide it with a good home - and I put it back. I however found these two little gems and they cost me $2.00 in total. The first being an incomplete Rowan Dean kit - pre printed fabric but no threads. I already have one of these miniature kits and I thought that this one would compliment it - plus I should have enough thread from the complete kit to do this one. Besides if it never gets done $1.00 is not so much to lose The other purchase was more for its vintage - that is the fruit bias binding. I don't know if I will ever do anything with it - but it is fun to have.

Yesterday P and I went to Warragul - about an hour and half down the freeway from here. It is a small country town which was pleasant to walk around and look in the shops. Of course the first shop I saw was a stitching shop called 'Gippstitch' - this is a double fronted shop which has a huge array of materials, buttons, threads and other quilting needs. I did a happy :) wander for nearly an hour and found the FQ for my swap partner over in a craft forum.

P and I then had lunch at a place called the Court House which in its day was the court house - the food was delicious and it was very pleasant sitting in the courtyard watching the world go by. P had suggested we go onto Traralgon - but we ran out of time. Another day perhaps...

The Blues...

I have changed the blog again... I am still in the 'playing' stage so these changes will probably be only fleeting - but I have learnt a lot more today... I am beginning to wish I had left well enough alone... Still I will persist and perhaps it will all become clear...

Another name change...

As you can see I have made another name change. It could be the last one or it may be one of many until it 'feels' right...

My bout of spring cleaning has certainly unleashed some interesting thoughts and ideas. I have begun a 'clearing out' process in more than one area of my life. The quote I have used as a sub-heading expresses more adequately than I can how I feel at the moment...

Spring cleaning and a change of name...

Well today I started... Started what you may ask? Spring cleaning I would reply... Very long overdue - in some cases I have not touched some of the cupboards in the four years we have been here... It all began yesterday when I was lying in bed and I contemplated how overwhelmed I had felt in recent months - everything seemed 'just too much' to contend with - it all ended with me thinking that I felt so overwhelmed that I just couldn't breathe anymore... It was like something 'exploding' as the two thoughts collided. I felt overwhelmed and I felt I couldn't breathe because of it - very interesting. Somewhere in the dark recesses a light went on and I thought perhaps if I took control and straightened out those areas which I could then I would feel less overwhelmed and less constricted and I could breathe a little easier both literally and laterally. It was worth a try...

So today I started - well , really it was yesterday when I cleaned out the pantry cupboard - I cleared shelf by shelf, checking for use by dates, wiping over shelves and rearranging things. I felt like I had accomplished something when I had finished and that I had taken a stand. Today I attacked our bedroom - taking down the curtains and leaving the windows bare except for the pull down blinds. I vacumed and damp dusted plus rerranged two bookshelves (no mean feat if you saw them!!!). Nothing was left unturned - except for the wardrobes which need a 'clearing' all of their own. I have started an op-shop box out in the hall and I suspect by the end of a couple of rooms it will be chock a block full. The need to 'off load' is tremendous - possessions I have held onto for a lifetime it seems no longer hold the same value they once did. I hope to go through the entire house cleaning and sorting as I go - this may take a few weeks but then again it has taken a few years to get to this stage. I am long overdue for a change...

Which brings me to the name change of my blog. When I began blogging I felt like I had a 'blank page' then as I progressed I 'added a few scribbles' - now I feel like it is just a page among many which is about an ordinary life. That is to say I m not demeaning myself by suggesting that my life isn't valuable, but perhaps more that I recognise my life is as it is - and in some senses that means more to me. That probably doesn't make much sense - but think about your own life - how would you like to be thought about or what do you think about your life. How do you see yourself??? What role do you see yourself as having???? I am getting deep here aren't I. But of the last little while, culminating with what I thought about yesterday is a sense of 'getting things in order'. There is definetely a death/birth cycle going on for me here. And so perhaps it was fitting when I read Dawn's blog that she had accompaining her photos the following:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; Ecclesiates 3:1-2

And so I too, will go with 'the flow' and see what happens...

Butterfly dreaming...

The strange looking structure in the background of my butterfly heart is the gate which I mentioned a entry or so ago. All of a sudden this piece has come together - although it looks far from finished - but in actual fact it is well within sight of the final stitch. While I have been 'playing' around with this heart there has been an elusive 'something' buzzing around in my brain which I couldn't quite catch it was always just out of reach. Then last night it 'happened' - my daughters were looking through photos from a few years ago - when out from one I saw myself and a very dear friend who has since passed away. It was one of those moments that one can't predict and I felt my breath catch in my throat and tears not far from the surface. While K has been gone now for over four years the grief was just as sharp seeing her smiling out from that photo. She was a beautiful person who whose warmth and generosity of spirit made you feel blessed to have her as a friend. I had also mentioned that this piece had made me think of the word 'freedom' and there had been another word which I think had been prompted by my 'leafy' thing in the foreground. It was the word 'remembrance' which I think had come to me as had been watering my rosemary plant the other afternoon and I was looking at its foliage - rosemary for remembrance. I couldn't for the life of me think why I kept putting the two words 'freedom' and 'remembrance' together but after last night it became clear. I had always seen K as free - like a butterfly and that I remembered her as that beautiful person whose life I had the priviledge of being a part of. And yes, she has gone through a gate I haven't come to yet. I know that she would be more than happy to see where I have come to in my life - we had shared many things in the eight years I knew her - and had planned to share many, many more. I have always seen the butterfly as a symbol of 'transistion' and of the soul - so perhaps it is fitting that is how I chose to remember my very dear friend.

As I write this I feel a sense of wonder - that stitch by stitch this piece has come to life and by its creation I have come to make something that has meaning for me and in its own way been part of a grieving process which I have been able to 'ground'.

As I began the gate I felt that I wanted to add some little bees buzzing overhead - perhaps to symbolise 'that life goes' on and also the word 'remembrance' to indicate that one doesn't 'just forget' no matter how much time passes. My heart will be complete then...