| Your Element is Water |
 Your energy: deep Your season: winter Like the ocean, you evoke deep feelings and passion.You have an emotional, sensitive, and spiritual soul.A bit mysterious, you tend to be quiet when you are working out a problem.You need your alone time, so that you can think and dream. |
Perhaps this is how I am feeling today... I can't really motivate myself into doing anything productive...
Perhaps partly it is to do with a conversation I had with a long time friend last night - I won't repeat it - however, once again it has illustrated to me how fragile we all are. I don't see this friend often as she comes from 'my past life in this lifetime'. She and I were a part of a group of women who all lived reasonably close to each other and had kids of the same age. We spent quite a bit of time together as we shared school lunch duties, mothers clubs, school council, fete committees, etc. It was in the days of largely 'stay at home mums' who participated in all these type of school activities. We have shared the 'ups and downs' of life - especially as our kids got older.
My involvement became less when I moved away - but still I have kept in contact with this one person who 'catches' me up on all the 'doings'. Our children are now mostly in their late twenties and early thirties so we have now evolved into the grandparent stage... Because she still lives in the same community she frequently runs into people from our vintage - last night she had a couple of stories about people we knew... I know for everything there is a season - but it makes me sad and if I am truthful - makes me think of my own mortality - when I hear some of these people have died or their children have struck major problems. I also heard that a couple of people who my youngest daughter went to school with have died tragically. It is when I hear about these stories I want to 'wave a magic wand and make it all better'... Especially for the kids - I think back to when they were running around the school yard with only a thought of who their best friend was for the day or the latest 'latest' thing...
As I have got older and looked back 'down the winding road' - some of the familiar faces have 'disappeared' - I know it is the way of life - not all are fortunate to stay for the 'long haul'... I can't help but wonder however, what the rest of 'the journey' holds...
As I write this and think back it is hard to believe the amount of time which has elasped. It seems such a very short time since those 'sunlit' days - but the 'shadows' that they cast are full of potent memories...
3 comments:
It's awful to acknowledge mortality - but that awareness does inevitably surface at some stage. My best friend's Dad passed away a year ago this month - I grew up in NZ with them as my 'family' ... always spent Xmas Day with them in the afternoons, got involved in many outdoor leisure activities through them etc, they had a huge impact on my life growing up. When Ross died it really brought those thoughts flooding in - they are the same age as my own parents (this year Dad will be 72/Mum 70) ... ever time Mum comes to visit she makes a comment to someone "you never know, it may be the last time I get to come" - and last time she was here she asked me if I wanted her heavy gold bangle, then surprised me when she took it out of her bag and gave it to me ... that broke my heart - it's almost like she's 'cleaning house' ready for "the time". I try to shut it out of my mind, and just enjoy the time that we have. I had a horseriding accident around the time Princess Di was killed, that made me sit and think about life in general and where I was going - it made me realise things can change at any moment, and to live life for today. Crikey, sorry, didn't mean to write so much! Are you an Aquarian, by any chance? Sometimes we almost seem to be going through the same thought patterns at the same/similar times :) I was just thinking a couple of days ago that I should update my Will, and what do do with my embroideries etc ... didn't last long, though - as long as the drive home, that's all LOL.
I read somewhere that we all have a fatal disease - It's called Life. Sooner or later we all have to go but the knowledge of that doesn't make it any easier or make the passing of people we know any easier. I guess that is why we should live like today is our last day - enjoying all that life has to offer and not worrying about tomorrow. Easier said than done I know. I said to my Mum once, when she was worrying about going on a trip and how much it would cost. "You only live once, don't spend your last days regretting that you didn't do all you could when you could."
We can't solve the problems of the world or protect ourselves, our friends or our children from everything. All we can do is live life to the fullest and saviour the memories - both good and bad.
Hugs Catherine
thanks so much Sharon, for the comment re HRT on my blog.
love to meet up with women who feel the same as me
Live is hard sometimes & I wish there was an answer...maybe we are all feeling so fragile right now as it is leading up to Christmas..
please keep in touch as I feel we could be kinda kindred spirits xx
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