Thursday, May 26, 2005

Uncle A...

To-day I went to a funeral. It was for my ex -husband's uncle. He was 82. While I was not close to A, and had not seen him for a number of years - he had always made me feel part of the family when we met on various occasions. I remember him as a cheerful, easy going, gentle man who warmly shook you by the hand and meant it. He was always concerned for other people's well being, whether it be that you had a cuppa or that life was treating you right. A was always interested in what you were doing and would listen intently, head on one side with twinkling eyes that held yours as you descibed either the latest planting in the garden or some world shattering event.

I liked A - and I wanted to show by my attendance today, some acknowledgement that his life had touched mine...

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

And so...

... I have started on another piece of the (practice) block - this section has the words "Sunny Days" done in backstitch... But before I could do this I had to take a photo copy of the section - which meant I had to learn to use our new super-duper printer... I am sure all this learning is going to be good for something!!!!! Anyway I remembered the steps P had shown me to operate the 'beastie' and I was away... Again my stitching is not great but another enjoyable experience... So now I have TWO partially started (or finished) sections of Block 1. I have decided to take some 'artistic license' and use these blocks to experiment with other stitches. I have decide that the section under the heart block I will add a row of 'something' and I have seen these tiny butterflies at out local card making shop - they would be perfect add ons at the beginning or end of this row of 'something' The card that E gave me for Mother's Day has given me an idea for that would lend itself and still be in keeping with the theme of the original quilt. The card sits on my desk now - and I have looked at it more than a few times thinking that its illustration would lend itself to some form of stitching...

I feel like I have made some valuable inroads in doing these pieces... (i) I have taken a deep breath and just 'done' (ii) They aren't perfect and to the largest degree I have accepted this - once I would have either kept pulling it apart and re doing it until I was satisfied or I would have put it away and not done it at all... So slowly I am 'inching' forward...

This 'new' philosophy seems to have rubbed off on my other ventures - I now have a four foot orange scarf - again, the knitting is a little rustic, but I have really enjoyed sitting knitting - something about the rhythmic motion soothes the soul... I could compare it to sitting on the edge of a pier and listening to the waves gentle slap against the pylons underneath, creating that slight 'aftershock'.
My idea of heaven...

I have taken a stand regarding my cross stitch - M's Mermaid has been 'swimming in circles' for the last few months... I need some 'clear space' and she is the first to help create it. I want her finished and at the framers by the end of June. There are so many other things that I want to stitch that I will never get them started if I keep on putting off finishing the ones I have...

I am still jobless and need to address this situation very soon. Another adventure just waiting to be explored!!!!!

My sinus has flared up again and it is as bad as it was - the wheatless and dairyless regime, whilst having made me feel better in some ways, is not the root of the problem. Rather it could now be traced back to a tooth problem I had - which is what I suspected in the beginning. Back to the 'drawing board' so to speak... I will continue with the eating regime for the time being. I am still feeling very tired, and this too makes me wonder if I haven't got a combination of other things going on...

But I am taking advantage of this 'forced' time off - this morning I sat up in bed at 5.30am, had a cuppa and read some of the quilting mags I had borrowed from the library. Once I would read all the profiles, admire all the quilts and look at all the advertisements. This morning however I studied construction methods. How things change... Another portion of heaven...

As write this I am playing an Enya CD I have had for awhile... Listening to it I glide back to a recent, but distant past - a time now incased in memories with just the slightest of echoes... I feel a change coming - what form this one will take I don't know. I just have the feeling that it is time to take stock, evaluate and make some decisions...

Enya has finished and so have I...

Monday, May 23, 2005

I have made a start...

on my BOM - well on the practise block really... I have learnt (in a fashion) to do an appliqued heart... LOL for the amount of time it took me I could have just about flown to Perth!!! However I did enjoy doing it and I achieved a reasonable result and that is that is main thing. I have thrown caution to the wind and I am just using scraps of fabric and not worrying whether they are 'pleasing to the eye' or not... I thought if I kept procastinating I would not get anything done. I was quite proud at my first attempt. P said all the right words this morning when I showed him - even E was impressed. She asked me did I feel peaceful when I was stitching it. There was something pleasing about the whole process - perhaps again it was the whole ritual thing or just the fact that I had finally made a start.

The scanned image is not 'true colour' as the heart is quite a rich red - more like the red in the flower strip on the side. And so onto the next bit...




I have also made inroads into the orange yarn I bought on Friday - I have knitted the entire ball and I am about to start on the next one... The balls are only about 50 grams and the needles are huge - but it is looking good and again I am pleased with the results. I have thought that I would like this scarf to be a long winding around enveloping type. The sort that one can get 'lost' in on a cold day... The beads that I bought look like they are either destined for this scarf or the 'some day box' as they just weren't right for my multi coloured knitting...

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Teresa Wentzler...

While 'surfing' through some of our American stitching friends blogs I came across an annoucement that Teresa Wentzler has retired from designing. I have in recent months purchased 'The Mermaid' through ebay and have suggested to my eldest daughter who 'claimed' it the minute she saw it, that I would stitch it for her fortieth birthday - which gives me nine years and six months. Someone from another site suggested that I would need every minute of that time. At the rate I stitch she is probably closer to the truth than she imagined...

I have created a 'WIP' (work-in-progress) sidebar. I am hoping that this will act as a constant reminder and that it might inspire me to actually get these things completed. I won't call them UFO's - but as a 'true' artist (tongue in cheek here!!) I will have a work(s) in progress...

Saturday, May 21, 2005

The 'WOW' Factor...

I haven't made much of a progression with my L's House BOM. But in saying that I have learnt something. As I said in a previous blog I had set the L's House block up on a tray - the last few days I have kept looking at it and asking myself why did this particular array of fabric 'speak' to me. What were the factors that worked and why did they? Again, as I mentioned in the same blog I was going to make block for block using my inherited stash as the practice piece. Now while a good majority of the fabric from that stash is too co-ordinated I just couldn't seem to achieve the same results as the L's House BOM. I switched the fabric around that many times - then I studied each block more closely... Of course the design on fabric and the colour was the most critical factor but why didn't it work when the L's House was also co-ordinated. I think really it is in the 'eye of the beholder' and 'horses for courses'. What immediately takes the eye of one person doesn't even register with another.

And again in saying that I really like the material that I have inherited - in fact I chose it because I liked it - perhaps it is just not suitable for the type of quilt that L's House BOM quilt is. What appealed to me about the L's House quilt I think was its 'romantic look' and as I said at the time it was quite a departure for me...

I followed up a link from inaminuteago it was a blog called Sonji says. As I scrolled through her blog and looked her work I asked myself why it appealed to me. Was it the colours she used or the shapes as in the design areas. Was it the apparent 'freedom' and 'freshness' that I felt when I looked at them? I have thought of late about what quilts that I have viewed and which ones have stayed with me long after I have left the exhibition.

It has been interesting for me to note how my tastes have changed just in the short time I have been involved in blogging. Finding a 'larger world' which I could bring into my lounge room so to speak has allowed me to discover more diversity in the stitching world. I think until recently that I have been fairly dependent on what I have seen in craft/stitching magazines and while I am certainly not criticizing them, I believe that they cater for the the popular market. Which brings me back to what quilts remained with me after the exhitbition was over - mostly they were the art quilts and the crazy patchwork quilts. Whilst I appreciated the work, the precision of quilts like baltimores just to name one, it was those quilts that ' broke the rules' so to speak which excited me. To put into exact words is hard, but I guess the only way to say it is that I felt a connection to them - it was as though I resonated with some aspect of them. I could wax lyrical here but I would suggest that you who read this know what I m trying to say...

Now I am the first to admit that my entry into the world of quilting has purely been to this point, one of an 'appreciative viewer' rather than a 'maker'. And I will suggest, that I am nervous about venturing into these waters, as I am concerned that I may cut up all this fabric - just to leave it like that and never get any further!!!!!!

But time will tell what I end up doing and all this talking doesn't get my BOM any further advanced especially when the second block is due to 'land' here any day soon...

Friday, May 20, 2005

Peacock Motifs


Drawings: Jane Lemon
From the 'Embroidery Studio'

Orange beads and yet more yarn...

I went to Go Lo tonight in the hope that they might have some cheap beads I could knit into my 'cheap' scarf... They didn't, I tried my favorite (aren't they all!!!!) op-shop in the hope that they might have had beads - also with out any luck... However in another $2 type shop they had beads for $2 a packet - each packet has twenty beads. They are round, with sort of a squiggled pattern on them and a bright orange. I will give them a go and if they don't work they will just go into my stash of for 'another day'. I seem to be gathering quite a few things for that particular stash. While in Go Lo I just happened to see more yarn that took my fancy - for someone that doesn't knit I am certainly making a good impression of it. This is much the same as the last yarn I bought but a solid colour - a clear, bright orange - normally a colour I wouldn't choose - however it looked not only cozy, but cheery as well. I am going to use the large wooden needles that I got from G - so it will knit up on a much larger stitch. Actually the beads I bought are a much better match for this yarn than the other. What have I started!!!!!! I think E despairs that her red scarf, which I started last year, will never be finished...

On my side bar I have added a 'books of interest'. The three that I have mentioned here I have borrowed from the library and it occurred to me that other people may be interested in them too. I have included the ISBN numbers as well for easier finding. The Australian Quilt Hertitage - I just missed out on ebay. It traces quilts from convict days until fairly recent times. It would be good reference type book to have on the shelf. Never mind another day. I have always like landscape depicted in embroidery - I bought a Rowan Dean kit last year at Jeff's shed - for just that reason. 'Landscape in Embroidery' it seems is a 'how to' reference book to creating your own landscape using different design and techniques. 'Embroidery Studio' is from The Embroiderers' Guild in the UK - and from a very quick flick through, it too, is a book on design and technique. From the photos it suggest that some historical pieces were used as a starting point for each contributor's work. There is whole page with black and white illustrations of peacocks motifs from various sources.

E pointed out a recently released (in Melbourne) movie that might be of some interest.
A Common Thread is a French movie based around the theme of embroidery and a young woman caught up in the age old dilemma of being pregnant and alone. From the review it seems to be very much a 'chick flick' - or perhaps when it comes out on video - a movie to embroider to.

It seems as though I will be home again this week. I will endeavour to be more organised as I felt like I squandered the time away this week. It is not like I haven't got enough to do. I think at times that is the problem, I don't know what to do first...







Tuesday, May 17, 2005

It was a challenge, but...

I have managed to get my first block pieces set out on a tray on the table. That's it!!!! The last two days developed into hectic. The best laid plans...

I have decided that I am going to make block for block using my newly aquired stash and the Leanne's BOM. As I am nervous about starting L's BOM I thought that with all this other fabric I can have a 'practise' with that - well that is the plan anyway. So tomorrow I am going to lock myself away. Now some unkind people would think that is a very good idea. They (those who dwell with me) can have leftovers from tonight while I tune into my creative side..

I think I am also coming down with the dreaded cold - knew I wasn't well when I just didn't have the strength to stay in Spotlight for more than a few minutes today. Still I did manage to see some very pretty wool that I could use those wooden knitting needles for.

Off to bed now - I am going to be as 'fresh as a daisy' tomorrow for the execution of Plan B or C or G or was it W???? Night all...

Monday, May 16, 2005

Contemplations...

I have been in a bit of a funny mood these last couple of days. I think it all began when I was invited by G - Patra's Place to have a look at some material she thought that I may be able to use. She had sourced it from somewhere else and was 'passing it on' to those people she thought could make use of it...

Obviously it had been someone's stash and as I went through it I wondered about all the hopes, dreams and aspirations that it held. Who ever owned it had carefully co-ordinated some of the fabrics which I was now turning over . What was their story? What was all this fabric destine to become? Was it bought on a whim or impulse - or was it carefully thought through - carefully 'stashed' over a period of time. Had it been lovingly cooed over? Was the creator waiting for ' just that moment' for the process to begin. Why wasn't it carried through? Mixed amongest the folds was a completed block - what was this the start of? Did time, desire and reason all run out?

It took me back to a time when looking through my own stash I came across various pieces of material that I had bought. For me in that period of my life it was like looking through a photo album - each piece of fabric represented an occasion or an event. And just as smells and music can invoked memories - so did these pieces of fabric. My girls as littlies, complete with their pastel, small print frocks, the jacket that I made the day before an occasion when I just 'had to have' something new. Here and there were parts of patterns pinned to fabric - some had even made it to the 'cut out' stage...

Since Saturday I have thought how my own life has changed in the recent years. I always described myself as having led at least two 'past lives' in this lifetime - as I have led some very 'different living' all within the same lifespan...

If someone would have told me 10 years ago what I would be doing now I would have thought that they had 'lost the plot'. I was so sure back then that 'this was how I was going to live for the rest of my life' that I didn't even contemplate that I would be living any differently. I cast my mind back to the life I lived, the friends I had, the beliefs that I had to be true... Now the majority of these are just memories - the life I live has changed - as has the location, the friends I had have mostly drifted away, and as for the beliefs - well I guess some of those I still hold on to - but a lot of others 'exploded' into fragments which disintergrated because the core belief had faded. And yet I feel closer to myself than ever before - as though I am closer to the 'real me'. Sounds corny I suppose...

I am a firm believer that for everything 'there is a season' - and that has led me to think about my 'current season' and what its potential may be. No one can be sure - as we all know - life can change in an instant. We can be shook from our complacency more quickly than we can think it.


My mind turns to a very dear friend who died suddenly four years ago - and how much I still miss her. K and I were going to be 'little old ladies together' and cause havoc in some old people's home in our twilight years. We used to giggle at what we would get up to - all those plans went in less than a flash as she too was gone.

I sit now watching the cursor blink on and off not sure what else to write. Perhaps only that life is fragile and we are given such a gift if only we recognise it to be one. We have the ability to achieve what it is we wish to - but with that comes with the desire, commitment,
perserverance and of course, physical excertion.

There is a part of me that would like to create something from this 'new stash' I have inherited - simply, that it may too reach its potential and not be wasted...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

On the road...

We have spent another Saturday 'on the road' so to speak. It seems every Saturday we need to do all these things that require hours of driving but not actually going very far away. Today was no exception. But I must admit today we did nice things as opposed to 'the shopping' etc. First stop was a second hand book sale run by the charity Oxfam. P and I spent some time browsing lots and lots and lots of books - of course, despite promises to Self that I wouldn't buy any I came away with an arm full - and that was just me!!!!! Our next call was to G - Patra's Place' to look at some material that she thought I might be interested in - another arm full later. I could have spent hours looking but we were on a tight time budget so it was a 'first impression' grab, we paused briefly for a coffee which was a nice catch up. Then it was on to our last port of call - a friend, to 'connect her up' to her new comp. That sounds promising doesn't it - like some second grade horror film. Lots of blood and tubes and white coated mad doctors with thinning standing up hair and crazy eye rolling. But it was actually a painless operation which took very little time... Finally home - late-ish afternoon... Now I can look at my 'new stash' - just what I needed - more material and books...

Friday, May 13, 2005

Hate to say it - But...

It's Friday again. But this time I am jobless. Finally the last walk to the elevator happened and I left the building. How do I feel? Bittersweet really. Glad that, the assignment is over, but uncertain of what the future holds. When working is a necessity and not a luxury it makes 'going around the wheel' more exacting. I was very touched by the number of people who came by my desk to wish me well - most people I only had a 'nodding aquaintence' with, even the group of girls who I worked with directly I had known a little less than three months.

Next week is partly mine - I have decided that I need some 'time out', my body need a chance to gather itself together - the new regime that I have been on has started to make itself felt. Yesterday was not a nice day as I developed as close to a migraine headache as I have ever had. I believe that among other facters it is also the body de-toxifying. I have been as good as humanly possible - at times it has been harder than other because I have been really hungry. But hopefully this next week and a trip to the naturopath might open broader horizons... Trying to stay total wheat and dairy free is a task unto itself...

Leanne's BOM is still patiently waiting. Next week I am going to allot some time and have a really good look at it. LOL... It is nearly time for BOM Two to arrive.

I have done some more to my knitting as I sat in front of the telly. I still can't decide whether to add beads throughout the middle section of it or perhaps wait until I do the fringe at the ends and add them then. If I add the beads to the middle section I have to thread them onto the ball of yarn before I start to knit. I am ready to start the second ball so I have to make up my mind before I do. My 'cheap' scarf may not be so cheap after all.

Speaking of knitting I have borrowed a good read from the library called Knitting by Anne Bartlett. "Two women from very different backgrounds, Sandra the academic, and Martha a gifted knitter meet over an unconscious body on the footpath. From this point onward a unexpected friendship develops." Set in South Australia against the background of knitting and textile history it is proving to be a good ' curl up with' read. I am looking forward to having a little spare time next week to do just that and lose myself for a few hours. Plus I may finally get to give the quilting books I also borrowed from the libray some weeks ago, more than just a glance.

So as I write this I wonder what lies ahead. Part of me is concerned - part of me is excited. The potential for a whole new adventure is just ripe for the unfolding...



'Knitting' - Anne Bartlett

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

It's Tuesday...

And I am a week into my new regime - wheatless and dairyless - well, as much as it's humanly possible. I was stunned when reading labels to discover how much of our foods contain one or both of these in some form or another. Am I feeling any benefits yet? Yes, I believe that I am - I feel less 'clouded' - I feel I can think more clearly - and I am less bloated body wise. While I am still tired, there is a slight improvement in my overall energy levels. This is only the beginning - and I have a long way to go - but if I feel like this after only a week then imagine how good I am going to feel after a month. Has it been difficult? Not really, as I felt so badly that I thought anything had to be an improvement on that. I have been surprised at such a difference really as I felt that I didn't really eat that much of either dairy or wheat - however as I said just going shopping has proved otherwise. P has been terrific and read labels diligently when he did the weekly 'hunting and gathering'. The naturopath put me on to 'spelt bread' and flour - it doesn't taste that much different really and I have 'played' making pastry with the flour and that turned out ok too. I guess the only thing is that I have to think in advance to what I am going to eat - there isn't too many 'ready made' things on the market - but the more I become 'involved' with this way of living I shall 'discover' more ways to do things. I am wondering what other things will develop from this apart from the obvious improvement in my health... And while this is not the sort of thing I planned to discuss in this blog - in a way it is a creative journey - my own physical one.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mother's Day...

Whew!!! And here we are at Sunday... If I thought that the week days flew - the week end seems to be like flash lightening...

We seem to spend all day on the road yesterday - but not going anywhere - just doing the week end grind... We went down to Kew Junction to buy the fruit and veggies at this great green grocer who has the best produce I have ever seen... It is so fresh you can almost see it still growing... Since going to the naturopath and having to make some changes to my diet I have decided that very best quality in what I eat is the way to go... Already, in the last four days I have start to feel a glimmer of my old self and I am cautiously optimistic that this could be the beginning to 'greater things'. But early days yet!!

We had a wander through the Juction and came across an independent bookshop (my other passion) - spent a delightful half hour just browsing... I saw two kids books that I might have to splurge out on and buy - both about dragons. I think I have some subconscious affinity with dragons because although I don't purposely look for dragon bits they seem to find me... Perhaps it might have something to do with me Chinese horoscope - I am a water dragon...

I had a look at my Leanne's House Bom late on Friday night... I 'played' with the first 'mini block' - of the first block... Although all the bits are largely cut out for me I can still choose the placement of them on the block itself... I am a little nervous about starting it though... Next weekend is a busy one - but the following one looks promising - plus if I get to have next week off...

I bought yet another craft magazine,
Country Threads 'special Stitchery' edition... It had some interesting bits and pieces in it - I particularly liked the sewing 'what not' and the quilt titled 'Happy Thoughts'... I have become quite strict with myself in regards to craft magazines and I don't tend to buy them as willy nilly as I did - I thought this issue was good as it had ideas that I thought could be useful in other projects... Or is it now that I am learning to 'see more' - past the original idea to an adaptation of my own...

I think M's mermaid is 'cluttering up' my mind as I promised myself that I wouldn't start anything else until that was finished... Hopefully with all this renewed energy which won't be too far away - I shall get some things done... Even though she (mermaid) is not far away from the 'finish line' I just never seem to find the time to just sit and do... Perhaps half an hour every night this week might see some advances...

Today we are at M & D's for lunch. That will be lovely...

Friday, May 06, 2005

It's Friday again...

It's Friday again... The days and weeks are flying and with this strange weather we are experiencing it is difficult to believe that it is not only May, but nearly the middle of the year. We even have a tomato plant that has sprung new growth complete with mature flower buds. Tomatoes in June?

I have had a reprieve with work - it has been extended for another week. While the money is great, I had been working myself into a whole stitching day midweek. No rest it seems for the wicked...

My visit to the naturopath this week was certainly an interesting one. At last I seem to have some answers that make sense to my health problems. I had to answer some very comprehensive questions regarding my health background. It is the first time in a very long time that I have felt what I was being told actually made some sense. And it sounds like that I might at last get some relief and some badly need vitality. Yah!!!!!!!!! With this I hope that I will feel like doing more things and this will flow onto other areas of my life...

My first Leanne's House BOM - sits as yet untouched. I have had some ideas that I would like to hand stitch the blocks at least. I think that they would be more portable and I could readily 'pick up' and take them with me. Now all that I need is somewhere to take them - I imagine a stitching retreat would be the go - dream on!!!!!


E has allowed me to put one of her 'little girl' designs on my blogger. I believe that these drawings could possibly make the transition into stitcheries of some kind. I was thinking perhaps basic embroidery stitches with some water colour pencil work for added colour definition. Some thought yet...

Sweet Dreamings

Monday, May 02, 2005

First BOM


Leanne's BOM

New Project...

Today I received my first ever BOM (block of the month - for those who don't know what BOM stands for - I didn't). In a mad moment about three weeks ago I decided that there was no time like the present to start something new - after all it was Monday too!!!! There is something about starting new things on a Monday... But I digress, for a very long time I have admired the work that a group of ladies in another internet site I belong to, have been doing. I gathered after a while that they were all doing a Leanne's House BOM quilt. I looked at all the photos and thought how lovely it looked and I read all the discussions on the thread and it seemed as though they were all having a most enjoyable time doing it... I mentally put it on my 'some day list' when the world is perfect and I have all the time in the world to do the things I want to do...

But for some reason best known to itself this particular Monday seemed to be 'it'... I had been browsing
Honeysuckle Cottage . Now I have visited this site heaps of times before and have never been tempted to buy anything - but as I said for some reason this Monday was different and I decided that I would subscribe to the Leanne's BOM. I am a bit of a 'nervous nelly' about buying things on line, but even that didn't faze me - and the rest they say is history...

So as of to-day I am the proud owner of the very first BOM to be faithfully followed by another nine installments... At the end of all of this I shall have one rather large quilt top or ten little bags filled with 'bits' - or something in between these two extremes... The idea is that I make one block a month - hence the name... After viewing all the blocks on line and even the finished quilt I was rather shocked to see how big the first block actually was - but in hindesight - I wonder really what I thought I would see - doll size perhaps?

I think why this quilt appeals to me is its mix of quilting and embrodiery - it is quite a 'pretty' quilt which is quite odd for me as I usually steer away from 'pretties'... Perhaps I am mellowing in my old age... But I am excited about it - so that in itself is promising... I don't know whether I will be diligent enough to make a 'block a month' but at least I will give it a go... I think that I have ordered it right at the right time with the days drawing in as they are - a pleasant way to spend coolish evenings... Well...in my 'romantic eye' I like the idea of it... Its arrival today has 'bucked up' my spirits considerably - after my 'grey' day yesterday...

As I write this I think of the people who possible read this blog and I think about the inspiration that those who I 'know of' have given me... Through reading their/your blogs and viewing their/your work it has helped me in my own way 'start to make a start'... I understand that while this doesn't equal 'real people' - I can hear some of you saying "What am I ? Chopped liver!!!" - but you know what I mean... Just having that constant contact has encouraged me to think more constantly about my own craft... And while by comparison I don't do any where as much as some of you, I do do some... Returning to the sit and stitch group of a Saturday has also contributed to a more constant stitching routine... I am very much the novice in all of this and I sometimes lament that 'I wish I had started sooner' or that 'I had more time to do more'.
However I have a fundamental belief that 'for everything there is a season' - and I guess, whether it lasts for a moment or the rest of my life - to enjoy it for what it is - is the important thing...

A favorite saying of mine is - ' A thousand mile journey starts with a single step'...
Perhaps - 'A ten block BOM quilt starts with a single stitch' ...

Phew!!!! Enough!!!!! I am off to go and look at all my 'pretties'

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Leah's Hat Box


While looking for the Western Australian photos I came across a hat box which I painted for a friend's daughter's 21st. My daughters and I then filled it with 21 smaller presents...

Ocean Reef - Western Australia


Ocean at the bottom of the street

The whinge...

Feeling at odds with myself today... My sinus is none the better despite yet another dose of high doseage antibiotics and a very strong cortisone/steriod medication... Last night I couldn't breathe properly after tea and it makes me feel so weary... Plus now it seems to be affecting my asthma as well... I believe that something has gone haywire in my system... I have decided to see a naturopath and see if looking at this from a different perspective might give me some answers. I feel quite toxic - physically, emotionally and spiritually... I think it is the overwhelming tiredness that is wearing me out... I just ache all over and feel like I haven't slept for days... This has been going on for months and months but just in the last few weeks it has reached an all time high... Stress, I believe is an underlying factor, but in today's living, it is all part of the equation...

Unfortunately all of this contributes to me generally and today I have just hung around in my nightie - very glamerous - not wanting to do much of anything... I just can't seem to 'rise above it'. Perhaps in my heart I know that something in my life has to change and it is acknowledging those changes that is the daunting part - plus not knowing exactly what has to change... Hmmm - enough!!!!

It is these sort of days when my thoughts turn to running away to Perth - to those friends and their house by the sea. If only...