Yes I know...

...ok, ok so perhaps I was a little silly - but I was trying to do the right thing... I suffer as you know from asthma and a sinus condition which for the most part these few months has been manageable...

Last night I was feeling a little weary - a long weekend does that to you... Anyway I was glad to come home and have dinner - which P cooked - out of the way... I headed off to bed early after a nice shower and settled down with my book... I was feeling quite dozy but my leg was bothering me so I got up and took some Panadol tablets - I must have gone off to sleep for a little while. The next thing I knew was that I woke up and I couldn't breathe properly - my nose was congested, my chest felt tight and I couldn't stop sneezing - I was also feeling quite hot...

To cut a long story short apparently I had an allergic reaction to something - it will remain a "something" as I have no idea what set the attack off. The only thing different which I had to eat was some liquorice that E bought home with her - I had had some after my dinner - but not a huge amount - only a few pieces really.

I ended sitting up for a couple of hours in the wee small hours trying to breathe properly because my nose was so blocked... Yes, my chest was tight, yes, I was feeling clammy and yes in hindsight, I should have woken P - but at the time I didn't want to disturb everyone for nothing...

This morning I felt like I had done 10 rounds with an obnoxious customer and lost every one. First P lectured me, then W at work told me off , the chemist also suggested I should have woken someone and last but not least - the doctor - because the chemist said it may not be a bad idea to have a checkup with him - said I should have possibly gone to the hospital when the symptoms were at their peak...

I asked the Dr why I have become so sensitive - he suggested that a poor immune system which is continually compromised becomes overtaxed and reacts to things it may not usually. He then went on to say that a good health immune system can be accomplished by good nutrition, enough exercise and adequate sleep and less stress. I told that I could manage the first three but the last maybe just a wee bit difficult...

Yes I know that I have to take better care myself and yes I do know that NEXT time I will wake someone...

And so you have it - my sad little tale...

I'm embarrassed now...

... but not enough not to show you...

This book - 501 Quilt Blocks - has been in my store for about 3 weeks - this weekend I decided that I would buy it... Would you believe I took the time to actually stand and look at it properly and realised that it could be quite useful as all the designs are 4" blocks... This I could do - I could manage something little...

Then one of the blogs which hasn't made it to my sidebar yet - Material Obsession - has produced a DVD in conjuction with Australian Quilter's Companion - Issue 29. I have been reading their blog for a little time now and I thought that the DVD could be a worth while. I don't usually buy that magazine but thought that just this once it wouldn't hurt...

Yes - silly I know - butI still carry this romantic vision of me quilting... When??? Where??? My next life probably...

The Gathering among others..

Over the time I had off at Christmas I managed to read four books from my list on my side bar. Three of them I managed to read without too many problems however when I started the last book I found that it was more difficult going...

'Those Faraday Girls' - Monica McInerney - was a typical holiday read not too taxing on the brain with its characters and plots. It moved along and was evenly paced with no major surprises.

'The Road to Paradise' - Paullina Simons - was a little different than I thought it would be but once I got into the pace of it I was right and it to proved to be a good read although a little more exacting than the first.

'Notes from an Exhibition' - Patrick Gale - took a little more concentration and again once I settled down to its pace I thoroughly enjoyed it enough to give it a star * rating as a good read. I had never read any of Gale's work before but I had been warned that he demanded attention from his readers.

I then moved onto 'The Gathering' - Anne Enright - and it is with this book I met my Waterloo so to speak. I had wanted to read it even before it was announced as the 2007 Booker Prize winner. I have found this book a difficult one and I am not quite sure to why. I had thought about the subject matter which is centred around a coming together of a large Irish family for the funeral of one of their own - an estranged brother who had committed suicide in England.

The siblings are all in the their adult years with lives of their own which from all accounts seemed to have their own difficulties. It is told from the perspective of a sister Veronica who seems to have a lot on her plate as it is she who assumes responsibility for the identification and bringing her brother's body back home to Ireland from England. She is on the brink of a marriage breakdown and that coupled with her brother's death and memories from the past threaten to engulf her as she struggles to come to terms and peace within herself.

As with most stories that deal with families there are ghosts from the past which rise up to haunt the living and torment the souls of those who aren't strong. I wondered in part if that was my difficulty with the book - having only one other older sibling and a small family unit I couldn't begin to image what it would be like to live within the confines of a large family and the conflicts it must bring..

The writing is good and I think it is for this reason that I have continued on. While I wouldn't put it up as my most favoured read I can see its merits and it does leave wisps of the story which cling in the mind almost like a slow dripping tap that wears away at the brain with its sound until the source is identified.

Out of the four books - three were to do with families - largish in numbers - who were mostly awkward and at odds with each other... Even 'The Road to Paradise was a young woman's search for her mother in a far away place , her loss of identity and the journey both physical and emotional it takes her to find both. I am a chapter off finishing...

I am considering carefully my next read - something completely different I think...

Update: I have just finished 'The Gathering' - I am glad I stuck it out to the end - I really liked the ending whilst it wasn't sad it wasn't - all happy and resolved now -either. Anne set the ending in an physical place of transition - of between one place and another. Veronica knows from this point she can go anywhere...

The Gathering is a story about families, sorrow and dark secrets that are pernicious - subtle poison - both to the physical body and to the soul.

I think I found my source and turned off the dripping tap - I would even go as far to say I have changed my mind and say it is a worthwhile read...

Yes I know...

...but I didn't actually promise I wouldn't buy any new books...

Since I have started buying Cloth,Paper, Scissors a mixed media magazine I have diverted a little from straight textiles to paper arts which has of course had me browsing those type of books.. Research I call it... I do see a possible 'crossover' in using some of the techniques used in paper arts in conjunction with my textile crafts...

These two are whims of fancy I know but are both excellent... I had seen the Sharon Soneff''s- Art Journals and Creative Healing - before Christmas in our opposition store and I convinced myself that I didn't need to buy it then and there - instead I ordered it at once when I got back home...

It has just arrived into the store and I spent last night lost in its pages - while I see this book as more inspirational than instructional - is is amazing to see the pieces of work put together by people who have done so in a time of crisis in their lives... They have used art journalling as a way to either make some sense of this part of their lives or to salve an 'open' wound -whether it be emotional or physical.

The Decorated Page - Gwen Diehn - got me in hook, line and sinker - I had to have this one immediately or as soon as I could part over the money for it - and from the opposition!!!! I am worse than - well, at least on equal par with Gollum and his ring - his precious... I argued justified to myself that it was a Christmas present to me.

I just love the presentation of this book - from the front cover to the back cover - it is a delight... If anyone reading this is into Altered Books,journals or albums - look no further - this is the book for you - it is both instructional and 'eye candy'... I have just discovered a companion book - The Decorated Journal - so I guess what I will be doing the very first opportunity I get...

I have always been interested in the connection between any form of art and self. And these two books only further emphasise that connection.

The pleasure that I have from these two has been immeasurable - they are books which I will dip into time and time again...

I wonder..

I found these in a box which we bought home from my Dad's some months ago. I can't remember cutting them up but I guess I must have. Judging from the look of them they must have started their lives as birthday cards... Why had I cut them up??? Who knows... But for whatever reson they had been carefully wrapped up - perhaps for some project which was never realised. At a guess I would say they came from about the late '60's or early 70's

I was going to throw them out but E suggested that I hold onto them for little longer...

I wish I could remember...

Who me - in the way???

G these are for you...

These shots were taken of our cat Edith who thought she was been neglected last night - so she made herself comfortable between the keyboard and screen making sure I knew that she was there wanting a little TLC.

I was 'chatting' to G from Patra's Place in MSN at the time and Edith kept moving so at one stage I was typing 'blind' because I couldn't actually see the screen - I also had to contend with a swishing tale.

I told G what was happening and she asked if I could take a photo - as soon as the last shot ( bottom one) was taken Edith was off - 'mission accomplished' so to speak...

But of course, she doesn't rule the roost - not our Edith!

In the midst of chaos...

... I played. You may remember the seahorse which I drew last year - another thing put aside into the 'someday' pile... I found it while I was cleaning up and thought (in the midst of the mess) to have another go - this time paint. -Ultimately I would like to 'do something' with this image but I am unsure as to what... Perhaps something in fabric and stitching...

Today however it was with watercolour paint and watercolour pencils... It actually looks better in the scan than in real time but who 's looking... I haven't finished it yet but it has definetely given me some ideas...

I am a little disappointed as I never got as far as completing my entry for the Linden postcard exhibition... E has hers ready to go while mine is in the pile for next year - least I will be organised... With so much going on at the home front my concentration level is next to zero...

But it was nice just to play for awhile today and perhaps it will be the promise of things to come when I have this house finally under control and get a few other home front issues sorted...

Still...

...madly cleaning... Another room half done... I don't think there was a box, drawer or cupboard I left unturned in the junk room study today... P took to the outdoors and weeded one side of the garden bed on the corner of the house while I went mad turning out cupboards - every so often we would break for a cuppa... I am now starting to make some sense of the mess I have created. We are having a council collection so what isn't going to the op-shop is going out on the naturestrip.

I have had to giggle as people cruise passed looking at your rubbish to see if there is anything worthwhile taking. Although this morning we did have the neighbours asking if they could have something of ours... I said to P - that we will probably see it turn up outside their place next council collection day...

I am looking forward to the day when I can say I am finished this obsessive house clearing cleaning... Unfortunately I haven't had much of a chance to do anything else but I know that I am going to feel so much better when it is all done. Though to look at the place it looks like the bomb has just hit. Once I make a start I become quite driven - my mind races onto the next thing... P says very littlebut I think he is hopeful that one day soon things will return to normal - but tonight I started talking about moving the furniture around - so I think he has resigned himself to 'it won't be over until it's over'.

I have thrown away things I have had for in some cases 20 plus years and two shifts. I went through my sewing patterns - really how many shirt patterns did I have to have - the op-shop ladies will probably groan when they see them come in.

I did the Knitwit (stretch fabric) course in the late 70's early 80's - as did many, many women- and until today I had the certificate to prove it. Knitwit stores and sewing with stretch fabric was the BIG thing in those days as it boasted that you could make a skirt in under an hour (which I did - and wore it out to lunch a couple of hours later). Sewing the Knitwit way broke all the conventional sewing rules as you used stretch fabric and therre was very little finishing as in other more conventional fabrics such as cottons, linens etc. Overlockers also broke into the retail market and became the 'must have' for stretch sewing - I never quite went that far - I bought a new Janome sewing machine with a stretch stitch instead...

Time fell away as I looked at the patterns but I realised that if this was the first time I had looked at them in six years - and I hadn't sewn them in the last 20 years then what was the point in keeping them - so into the op-shop box they went. The box runneth over...

I still have quite a stash of mainly tracksuit material which I have had since my girls were little - guess what is going next????Although I did see a pair of fleecy track pants on the new season rack in one of the shops - perhaps I should just hang onto the fabric I have a little longer. But who would wear eye shattering lollypop pink I would never know - but someone must be going to if the multiple pairs I saw hanging there were any indication... Does my b*m look big in this????

Back to the work week tomorrow and perhaps another room next weekend...

Today...

... I found this and have added it to my New Year's word - 'release'...

Thank God...

...for the blessed cool... I can sleep tonight :)

I can't think...

...let alone write - it's just too hot!!!!

Just to say...

I am writing this from my nearly new - very own - computer... No longer do I have to negotiate time with my daughter E... I am free to do my own thing for as long as I like... Yipee!!!!!! Thanks P for getting the whole thing operational... I came home from work to find the whole thing all set up for me ready to push the start button... I am loving this.... I am sure E is too - no longer am I hanging around waiting my turn... I look forward to really getting more involved... I better head off to bed before I fall asleep over the keyboard...

Well... It's over...

... I shook the last of the sand out of the cozzie and today I resumed the identity of a Angus & Robertson bookseller...

It was unexpected - I wasn't starting back until tomorrow but apparently even the casual casuals had had enough and had revolted... The boss rang - 'would it be possible, could it be possible that I might think about working a few hours today'...

It wasn't too bad - only three and a half hours - just enough to break me in gently... So I am back and the year has truely begun...

But on a brighter note only 32 weeks until my next break :)))

2008

I have been very remiss in 2007 and have just not caught up with anyone who may have left comments on my blog - I will try to make amends in 2008!!!! At the moment I am busy cleaning the house and throwing - giving to op-shop :)- stuff that I no longer have use for - I am hoping that someone out there (like your good selves) will find them and give them new and useful homes... I am slowly making my way through the house and have made myself a promise that by my next birthday in Sept. I will be well on the way to a less cluttered and more peaceful home.

Since watching the Abbey I have come to realise how much 'stuff' we gather around ourselves in order to fill/feed the void in our lives... Whilst I still have a long way to go I am more determined this year to recycle what I already have rather than go and and buy more "stuff" I am also trying very hard to see my glass as half full rather than half empty... I am wanting to embrace a 'slow' life and be more fruitful in my endeavours and begin to 'live and enjoy' rather than 'going through the motions' at a neck breaking speed and certainly missing the scenery. I want to create some space in all levels of my life, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The need to de clutter - again on all levels - has been beating like a tattoo in my mind these last few months. Having these two weeks off work has given me a window of opportunity to at least make a start. I have gone through boxes of bits and pieces I have had packed away for the last six years since E and I moved here - some things I have held back not yet ready to let them go - but a lot has gone with more still to be sorted. I have considered selling bits on Ebay but mostly I just wanted them gone and I know that for most they will be received into some other home and be recycled.

I believe that there is a direct relationship to the way I have been feeling these last few months - a feeling of not being able to breathe, feeling stifled, congested and constricted - to the way the house has become. I do take heed of the adage of 'so above so below - so within so without'. In other words each state of being is reflected - if our internal world is in chaos chances our external world will mirror that chaos. There are aspects in my life that I am not altogether happy about but I have let them slide, let them mount up and like my external world they have got get out of hand - it is now well past time to make amends and get things back on track...

I came across an interesting blog in my blog hopping in which the blogger was saying that rather than making new years resolutions she chooses a word as her mantra for the year or as long as she feels the need for it. She warns against choosing too many and suggests a limit of two or three at the most.

As I continued reading the word release 'popped off' the page and I knew in that instant that it was going to be my word for 2008 or for as long as I need it. Perhaps its side kick could be 'useful' as I am feeling the need to bring into my life only the things that are immediately of some use. I can sense that using this as a strategy I will be able to bring my internal and external worlds s back into harmony...

2008 will be my year to explore, experience and express rather than to purchase, have and possess. I am going to spend more time with my family and friends - taking pleasure in 'simple' and be in the 'present' not galloping forward in my mind to some future time or event. No wonder I feel exhausted all of the time!!!!!

On a lighter note - I am looking forward to starting one of the quilt projectsI have tucked away waiting for that 'perfect day' when the time is right. The time I believe is right - right now!!!! There is a spot on the wall just inside my front door and in my mind's eye it is already hanging there.

There is an urge to return to a cross stitch which I put down earlier this year - it wants to be finished and go to the person it was destine for.

I want to return to my writing and amidst all this cleaning I have begun to create a quiet place - in the bedroom - to do just that - a spot where I can go and play soft music and write until my heart is content.

I am thinking about a girls' day - perhaps stitching or afternoon tea - where we can get together and enjoy each others company for a couple of hours once a month.

Welcome 2008 - I am so looking forward to spending time in your company...