Heavenly Grace...

Thanks everyone for your comments re my last message - they were much appreciated. I am aware that compared to others I haven't got a lot to complain about. This year has been a continual 'shifting the weight from one foot to the other' process... I am not particularly unhappy - just frustrated about the circumstances which I find myself in... I have felt a little isolated of late and that has played heavily on me... But enough angst!!!!

Today I really 'slothed out' and watched 'The Book Group' a TV series which I borrowed from the local library... It is a bit of a 'black' comedy... But it appealed to my sense of humor. The series deals with an American girl newly arrived in Scotland who forms a book group as an attempt to meet and make new friends... Of course nothing goes to plan and quite often the books are the last things to be discussed... The human relationships are quite well played out... It has been on the ABC and I missed it so I was happy when I saw it in the library... E says that it had a couple of series...

I am really getting close to finishing the stitching on M's and I have decided to start something else - this one I have had for quite a few years... The project is at the top of the page - it is called 'Heavenly Grace' and is part of the 'Gold Collection' by Dimension. It is stitched on 18 ct ivory aida - and is quite small. So as soon as M's is completed 'Heavenly Grace' is going to be added to the fray... Something has made me decide to get on with some of these things I have and give them 'life'... :-)) I am just about all mermaid(ed) out and I will look forward to feeling the caress of angel wings...

And so, with the threading of a needle I will be travelling from the depths of the ocean kingdom to the heavenly realms... Now who says Life is boring...

Ok - I am off to do some more...

Update...

We are still without E's monitor and we are still sharing mine... But all is not lost... The most surprising thing is that I am on the homeward stretch of M's mermaid... G - I am up to the lettering!!!!! I think with having only limited time on the comp I am now turning my attention to other things - or is it perhaps because M's birthday is only a little over a week away that I want to finish it... Whatever the reason I seem to be achieving more this side of the screen since we have been short a screen - if that makes sense... This afternoon for instance I took my cuppa and my book and sat outside on the backstep and enjoyed an hour's reading time in the fresh air - bliss... I have come to realise how much time I spend on the comp when I could be doing other things... I think like us all I only intend to be on the comp for a short time but unfortunately the minutes soon turn into an hour or so and then the morning, afternoon or whatever has gone... And for some reason I seem to be more relaxed - well, as relaxed as one person can be seven weeks before Christmas, an impending operation and the liklihood of little or no hours at what is meant to be my dream job... However we plod undaunted upwards towards the Summit...

My thoughts have turned to what I would like to achieve next year... This year I have struggled to even get to where I have now... So I am considering what I would like to see myself having accomplished by this time next year and I am considering making a list of goals - perhaps then I shall see some inroads with my UFO's and my reading...

My intention in setting up this blog was to partly get involved with writing again and whilst I have to some degree written it is not quite what I thought I would write... I think that I have become bogged down in what I thought I should be writing - not writing what I wanted to write... I even started the other blog but lost interest very quickly in it... Then a few days ago I had this bizarre thought - what if I kept a journal type thing - well not a journal as such - more just a place where I could continually write - perhaps a visual diary of sorts... And what if it wasn't here - but in a real book with real paper and a real pen - now that is a lateral thought... See what a few days away from a comp will do...

Hopefully when all systems are up and running I can show your some progress on both M's mermaid and the other sampler which I had just started - I now have a photo of what the finished piece should look like given that I have changed the colour and type of cloth... Until then...

Computer blues...

As much as I enjoy my computer I loathe the difficulties/frustrations they cause... For the last three weeks we have had a continual 'time of it' with my daughter E's comp. It was bought new not quite 12 months ago and has had three trips back to the shop... Then last week the monitor gave up the ghost and it too has gone back... But inbetween all these comings and goings the cable/broadband started to play up as well dropping out for hours at a time... Grrrrrr.... Yesterday that was attended to by a lovely guy who patiently explained the problem to us... I nodded sagely - it looked like I understood what he was saying.... But after inspecting the source from outside the house the problem was solved... Now we wait on the moniter's arrival... Meanwhile we have my moniter on E's comp - and I have access to her broadband... I have never read so many blogs in such a short time... I feel like I am behind the wheel of a natty little sportscar zipping along the information highway... But I do love my old comp - it may chug along and hiccup occassionally but it just keeps going... Hopefully next week I shall be back on board in my room on my comp...

Yesterday I had a visit from G of Patra's Place... We spent an enjoyable time of it stitching and chatting and eating... P enjoyed the brownies G!!!! G perhaps next year you and I might take a stitching week-end away... Let's start planning it now...

I am struggling to finish M's mermaid... Her birthday is in a couple of weeks and I still have a good day's work on it... I think because it has been around for the best part of a year that I am sick of it but I can see the sense in finishing it and getting it out of the way... I really loved it when I first started it but have really lost interest in it...Hmmm...

Well I am writing this before I go off to work so I had better get a wriggle on and get into work mode... For those of you who read this I hope your day/night is an enjoyable one...

The first few stitches...

I have made a start on C's cross stitch. I have decided to keep some sort of log as I go on this one. In my mind I think that there is less of a chance it been put away and also I am curious to see how many hours it will take to complete. You wouldn't think however, to look at it, that this it is the best part of three and a half hours work. The section I am working on has been nearly all pink of one shade or another - I am looking forward to introducing more colours in the section which has the 'turned corner' - the pink 'blob' in the centre is part of the vertical stroke of the letter 'L' which is a capital. I will perhaps have to change the shade of pink at its top section as it is nearly the same shade as the aida - but I will make that decision further along. So far I have enjoyed the stitching and have developed a slow, but steady rhythm - almost to a meditative state. I have been stitching after P goes to work and the house is quiet - the birds in the park across the road add just the right accompainment to this hour or so of 'me time'. Morning it seems, is when I stitch best - my head is clear and I feel peaceful. A nice way to begin the day. I can 'see' one or two little gold butterflies 'fluttering' somewhere across this piece - they are not included on the original pattern - but it just feels right to include them. I am looking forward to seeing this piece develop...

Interesting enough C rang on Sunday night - after not hearing from her in a little while. We have been invited to she and R's house warming next weekend. Although I shouldn't be surprised at her phone call - she had been on my mind for days. We are like that - she and I...

Work's had developments - there will be a staff meeting next Monday night when all will be revealed. Hmmm - of late I am thinking more and more that life in the city is evolving more and more into a faster and more complex rat race. Perhaps I am kidding myself that life further out of Melbourne would be different - I would still have to work - that is a given - but surely it wouldn't be this continual grind - of feeling like I am going 'no where fast'. I want more quality time in my life - time to do more of what I want to do and less of what I have to do. Or is it that I am simply getting older and the things which seemed important are less so. Time for a seachange?

While I enjoy the job I have now I am less impressed with the intensifying retail 'got to get the consumer dollar at all costs' mentality. It seems as though the 'hierarchy' don't mind staff cutting as long as the (increasing) work load is met - this interesting turn of events has happened leading to the busiest time of the year and the introduction of a customer loyalty program. Somehow I think the customers would appreciate better customer service rather than a 'free' book which they pay for in other ways. Am I jaded? Perhaps - but on a larger scale - more disappointed in the way the world is turning. We are for the largest part being hoodwinked - and we just won't see it. Descending from my soap box now :-) ...

I may be off line for a few days - E's comp has taken another dive - so she and I will be 'sharing' until hers goes and returns from 'hospital'...

The next stitch...

This is my next cross stitch project... It has been tucked away for the best part of three years. I saw the design in a library book and thought how nice it was. The original design was stitched on black linen. I knew my eyesight would not withstand black - let alone linen so I opted for the palest of pink 18ct aida. I may have to play around with some of the threads as I can see already that one of the pinks fades into the background - although I do like that idea of it been 'barely there'. A 'surprise' for the eye to discover

I photocopied the chart but not the photo of the design. It is the word 'Love' surrounded by scrolling backstitch and xstitch flowers. The 'L' is large with the 'ove' smaller - the overall effect like an illuminated lettering style.

I originally chose this for my friend C's 'BIG 0' birthday - but that has come and gone. In a way I am glad that it wasn't done for her as sadly it was not a happy time with the death of a family member. At least now when C receives this it won't have all those associated memories attached. The design is small so hopefully it won't take very long to do. Although I remember saying that about a mermaid - which has taken me over a year.

Why am I stitching it now? Strange really... I have been on the lookout to stitch something new and perhaps a little different - not only to what I have been stitching - but also to what I usual choose to stitch. C came to mind and it had me thinking about our friendship when both of our lives were going through an ' interesting and challenging' phase. We valued our friendship - for support and nothing was ever 'too big' or 'too small' or 'too late' or 'too early'. We were unconditional, non judgemental and while we may not have always agreed on a lot of things we each respected t it was the right of each of us to express our opinions differently. Due to the 'different paths' of our lives over the last couple of years we don't get to see as much of each other...

When I first saw this cross stitch design those few years ago it 'spoke' to me - I knew instantly it was for C. I wanted it to be a testament to our friendship both past and present. Yesterday I went deep into 'my archives' and found it - I am looking forward to stitching it perhaps making more memories as I go...

So as you see this is the first bit - 'all parts making the whole'. I will 'blog' my progress and its growth...

I would also like to thank P for making my blog title a reality from the idea I had some months ago...

Sunflower FQ...

This is the FQ my swap partner sent to me from over in a craft forum. Each month we have the opportunity to do a themed swap. For the month of October it was the first inital of either our real or on-line name. Mine of course is 'S'. We then had to suggest what that inital stood for. I thought of surprise, snow and sunflowers. My swap partner then had the task of finding a FQ to do with any of those... I was happy with a surprise and L my swap partner came up with this lovely fabric which is a welcome addition to my stash. These swaps are no pressure 'feel -good' type of activities - and for the moment this is how invloved I want to be. It is a nice way of increasing your stash - perhaps receiving fabric you wouldn't pick yourself and receiving something nice in the post...

Op-shop treasures...

Well, what a day... My eldest daughter rang to tell me that the company she works for has been 'taken over'... She now has an indefinite future. I meanwhile, have been told that the company I work for is cutting back hours across the board. I work casual hours which have all but dwindled away. This whole year has been so uncertain and now these latest developments just top it off. I feel like I am caught between a rock and a hard place...

But on a happier note we went up the street which nearly always results in a trip to the op-shop. Someone had cleaned out their cross stitch collection and there were some very nice patterns - mostly of flowers or birds. I looked at them carefully and although they were only a couple of dollars each I resisted. There was a complete kit of flamingo birds which had the original price of $89.90 on it - the op shop was selling it for $25.00 not a bad price It was to be stitched on very fine linen and all its threads were pre-sorted onto a card. It looks like one of those kits one falls in love with takes it home and lovingly puts it with the rest on the hoard. After contemplating it for a moment I knew that there would be someone who would provide it with a good home - and I put it back. I however found these two little gems and they cost me $2.00 in total. The first being an incomplete Rowan Dean kit - pre printed fabric but no threads. I already have one of these miniature kits and I thought that this one would compliment it - plus I should have enough thread from the complete kit to do this one. Besides if it never gets done $1.00 is not so much to lose The other purchase was more for its vintage - that is the fruit bias binding. I don't know if I will ever do anything with it - but it is fun to have.

Yesterday P and I went to Warragul - about an hour and half down the freeway from here. It is a small country town which was pleasant to walk around and look in the shops. Of course the first shop I saw was a stitching shop called 'Gippstitch' - this is a double fronted shop which has a huge array of materials, buttons, threads and other quilting needs. I did a happy :) wander for nearly an hour and found the FQ for my swap partner over in a craft forum.

P and I then had lunch at a place called the Court House which in its day was the court house - the food was delicious and it was very pleasant sitting in the courtyard watching the world go by. P had suggested we go onto Traralgon - but we ran out of time. Another day perhaps...

The Blues...

I have changed the blog again... I am still in the 'playing' stage so these changes will probably be only fleeting - but I have learnt a lot more today... I am beginning to wish I had left well enough alone... Still I will persist and perhaps it will all become clear...

Another name change...

As you can see I have made another name change. It could be the last one or it may be one of many until it 'feels' right...

My bout of spring cleaning has certainly unleashed some interesting thoughts and ideas. I have begun a 'clearing out' process in more than one area of my life. The quote I have used as a sub-heading expresses more adequately than I can how I feel at the moment...

Spring cleaning and a change of name...

Well today I started... Started what you may ask? Spring cleaning I would reply... Very long overdue - in some cases I have not touched some of the cupboards in the four years we have been here... It all began yesterday when I was lying in bed and I contemplated how overwhelmed I had felt in recent months - everything seemed 'just too much' to contend with - it all ended with me thinking that I felt so overwhelmed that I just couldn't breathe anymore... It was like something 'exploding' as the two thoughts collided. I felt overwhelmed and I felt I couldn't breathe because of it - very interesting. Somewhere in the dark recesses a light went on and I thought perhaps if I took control and straightened out those areas which I could then I would feel less overwhelmed and less constricted and I could breathe a little easier both literally and laterally. It was worth a try...

So today I started - well , really it was yesterday when I cleaned out the pantry cupboard - I cleared shelf by shelf, checking for use by dates, wiping over shelves and rearranging things. I felt like I had accomplished something when I had finished and that I had taken a stand. Today I attacked our bedroom - taking down the curtains and leaving the windows bare except for the pull down blinds. I vacumed and damp dusted plus rerranged two bookshelves (no mean feat if you saw them!!!). Nothing was left unturned - except for the wardrobes which need a 'clearing' all of their own. I have started an op-shop box out in the hall and I suspect by the end of a couple of rooms it will be chock a block full. The need to 'off load' is tremendous - possessions I have held onto for a lifetime it seems no longer hold the same value they once did. I hope to go through the entire house cleaning and sorting as I go - this may take a few weeks but then again it has taken a few years to get to this stage. I am long overdue for a change...

Which brings me to the name change of my blog. When I began blogging I felt like I had a 'blank page' then as I progressed I 'added a few scribbles' - now I feel like it is just a page among many which is about an ordinary life. That is to say I m not demeaning myself by suggesting that my life isn't valuable, but perhaps more that I recognise my life is as it is - and in some senses that means more to me. That probably doesn't make much sense - but think about your own life - how would you like to be thought about or what do you think about your life. How do you see yourself??? What role do you see yourself as having???? I am getting deep here aren't I. But of the last little while, culminating with what I thought about yesterday is a sense of 'getting things in order'. There is definetely a death/birth cycle going on for me here. And so perhaps it was fitting when I read Dawn's blog that she had accompaining her photos the following:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; Ecclesiates 3:1-2

And so I too, will go with 'the flow' and see what happens...