In my thoughts today...

... I have come to understand that things which have gone before cannot be reclaimed - old friendships rarely rekindle to past intimacy, lost love will be forever remembered as lost love, regrets can never be reconciled and unrealised dreams stay largely unrealised...

Nearly a month on...

...we have all been extremely sad without Edith but we have also been cheered by the kindness of family, friends and strangers alike who have expressed their condolences one way or another. Edith had been such a large part of our lives for such a long time that at times I think we forgot she was a cat - rather she was 'an Edith' an integral part of the family unit. She had been through so much with us over the years - a largely silent companion - ever watchful - a keeper of secrets and a giver of unconditional friendship and love.

Eadie ruled us all with a velvet paw and we would tease her and say that her 'black heart' was in control when she would ignore us and treat us with indifference - or if she was playing at being a 'big cat' - that it was the tiger stripe marking on her coat in the tabby areas that was responsible for the hissing, baring of teeth and unsheathing of claws... I used to tell her that in our last life together that she was a princess and I was her handmaiden - she remembered that life and I didn't...

E's is a part of an art on-line art site where Edith's antics were regularly recorded. In fact Edith had quite a following of admirers and from time to time other artists would also paint/draw their impressions of her and send them to E. When E left a message at the forum saying that Edith had died she received over a 100 messages of condolences. Whilst this by no means eased the pain of loss it was touching to think that 'faceless' friends in most cases half a world away took the time to express their words of comfort.

Edith featured very heavily in E's art work as you can see just a few examples above... The first picture shows Edith 'getting high' on ants she would roll around in ant trails if she found any and act quite strangely almost if she were drunk - she it seems 'just couldn't get enough' ants. The second picture is a recent painting of Edith done in the last few months of her life. The last picture was one of E's larger than life caricatures of Edith. These are just three of many, many images we have of our beloved Eadie... Edith was a constant source of inspiration to E and E's art journals are liberally littered with sketches, cartoons and caricatures of her beloved companion.

We all still look for that little face which use to greet us at the door each night when we returned from work. I have found myself looking for Edith from time to time and my day off is now lonely without her presence and I miss that miaowing that would search us out if she couldn't find us. I miss her terribly and have found myself having more than one little weep in an unguarded moment. I miss the times when she would come and lie across the keyboard when she wanted attention and I had been on the computer a while. She also use to get a "Don't think I don't know what you are doing" look when we were getting ready to go out. Her greeting on our arrival home was one of disdain and she would stalk up the hall with her tail upright as much as to say -"see, I haven't even missed you" or she would look up if she had been asleep with a "... so, you've decided to come home..."

I think we were all shocked at how quickly she went from a seemingly healthy cat to very ill in the matter of a few days. We have always prided ourselves in the way we have looked after Edith and the vet assured us that we did all the right things for her. It seems that cats in particular show very few signs of ill health until it is critical.

In the last few months we noticed she had slowed up - but took that given she was 13 1/2 that that was to be expected. She still was very, very attentive as far as her food was concerned and cooking is not the same without those watchful eyes watching you from across the other side of the kitchen bench making sure she missed nothing that might be important to her and her stomach. In fact that was what alerted us to the fact she may not be well -when she started to turn away from her food - even P's tiny morsels of raw chicken failed to enthuse her...

We are unsure at this time whether we will get another cat - yes, we would all like another but that doesn't seem to be a good enough or the right reason. I know that it sounds silly but I believe when there is a little kitty needing a home Edith will let us know.

**I would like to thank those people who responded to my previous post - I really appreciated your comments and I apologise that it has taken me this long to respond...**

We love you Eadie - we miss you and our life is not quite the same without you in it...